Hungry Like The Wolf: A Paul and Rachel Novella

Chapter 10: Heat

Author's Chapter Notes:

Special thanks to my beta, LauraWeasley.

Happy Reading!

Playlist:

Ambassadors - Litost

Gotye - Somebody I Used to Know

Chante Moore - Love's Taken Over

Chapter 10 – Heat

Brushing a bit of sand off my pants, I gently adjusted the blanket beneath me, the constant wind carrying over from the pacific hitting the right side of my face. I shifted the camera strap around my neck, lifting to take a snapshot of the action. My eyes followed the soccer ball as Paul, Sam, Embry and Leah kicked it around between each other. It was my last Saturday before the new job. Paul thought it would be a good thing to spend time with the pack and their girls before I got tied down with work.

I hadn't photographed anything in a while so I made sure to bring my Nikon. We made a picnic of sandwiches, chips, potato salad, and soda. I'd chipped in to make some turkey club sandwiches with bacon and avocado, my favorite, to contribute to the lunch.

After swallowing her first bite, I heard Emily exclaim, "Yum!"

"Let me try," Sam insisted, and Emily let him have a drive-by bite into his sandwich.

"This is so good," Emily crooned as she took another bite.

Sam's dark eyes gleamed appreciatively at the sandwich and then flitted towards me. "That is good. I'm definitely having one after the game!"

"Thanks," I said before taking another shot, this time of Embry and Jake fighting over the ball.  "Be sure to. I made plenty."

"Will do." He gave me a smile, though something in his eyes seemed a little surprised and pleased at how I spoke to him just then.

I made an effort to be all right with Sam. To be amiable with Emily. For Paul. Because Sam was his Alpha, and Paul worshipped him. He worshipped them both, actually, and because of that, wanted so badly for me to like them, too.

Despite the loyalty I felt to Leah, I knew I had to be mature about things. The feeling of guilt and betrayal for being okay with Emily or Sam was still there, but I also knew all of us had to get over it soon. And I could tell that Leah tried to be understanding, though we never really spoke outright about it. I could perceive it in our interactions that she didn't hold me accountable to her being my only friend in the tribe, but I still didn't want to ever hurt her. It was hard to put myself somewhere in this situation, so I decided on some place in the middle. Leah will always be my best friend, but I can make the effort to get along with Sam and Emily.  I would be cool with them, but when it came down to it, Leah was my girl.

But yes, since they were important to Paul, I had to make sure things were good between me and them. I'd even made it a point to sit with them on the blanket sitting between them, Jared and Kim.

Between plays the guys would come for a drink, and I would catch Sam's expression when Emily would hand him his water bottle. There was a deep appreciation and love there, the same expression that Paul wore for me.  And then I finally got it.  If Emily felt half of what I was feeling for Paul when she looked at Sam, I knew it would be virtually impossible to resist, and it was the first time I could actually understand her choice, that no matter how much she cared about Leah, she couldn't deny her feelings for Sam.

Maybe I was on the road to forgiving them both for what happened. To let go of my own objections and judgmental attitude toward their union. But that was going to take time. Rationally, it was silly to hold a grudge with them over a situation that wasn't mine to begin with, but as my eyes caught the loneliness in Leah's eyes as she went for a Sprite in the cooler nearby, I was instantly reminded of the pain it all caused my friend. I suddenly realized that until she found happiness, I could never be truly happy for Emily and Sam.