Twice As Shy

Chapter 5

Just another morning after in the life of Megan Taylor

Reese managed to take it well enough last night. After Ryan left, Kyle disappeared too. Everyone is still up in their rooms, or at their own homes for once. I have no good reason for being awake at 6 in the morning on a Saturday, but it is what it is. I'm kinda hoping no one gets up until at least noon. I need time to think about everything that's happened.

Pouring myself a cup of coffee, Reese's comments last night keep replaying in my head. Should we really tell Mary about what happened? It was only once, and it's not like we've ever tried to do it again. But wouldn't I want to know if my boyfriend had sex with another girl? Nevermind !!! I definitely couldn't handle that sort of situation. After doctoring up my coffee the way I like it, meaning extra cream and sugar, I take my cup and head out to the back porch. The Tylers have this porch that's screened in. Reese and I used to come out here at night when it was raining and just vibe, but that was way before boyfriends came into the picture. But it's really nice out here. They don't have fake plants, or even real plants that attract bugs. It's more of an open lounge than it is a porch because of how they have it fixed up.

Mrs. Tyler is an impressive decorator. A few years ago, she found out a set of 12 brown and red ottomans that you can place together to make a large lounge area, or you can separate them and just use them as chairs. There's also this L-shaped sofa that takes up most of the wall against the back of the house. And my personal favorite spot, against the wall and opposite from the ottomans there's this hammock that Kyle, Ryan, Reese and I built together the summer before freshman year. It's completely undisputed that that's my spot. Reese and Ryan share the ottoman lounge, and Kyle just comes in and forces us to share it all. The porch is amazing; I'd sleep out here if the weather liked my hair enough, but alas, it's not to be.

I've finally settled onto the ottoman bench to enjoy all the natural light and sounds... and stuff, when I hear the back door open. I look over to Reese stumble out of the house with a plate of food. She comes and plops down beside me, tucking herself under the blanket I've been using.

"Well good morning to you too, Sunshine," I say to her, moving over so she can get comfortable.

"Hi hi. I made you some food so we can talk," she responds and put her head in my lap. 

"You comfortable enough?"

"Almost. Wait.... Yeah, I'm good." Reese is too cute for her own good sometimes.

I'm actually dreading whatever she is about to say. I mentioned earlier that she handled all the news well enough, but I just don't know what more there is to say.

"Okay. So you know that I love you. And I know that I said I wouldn't bring it back up, but help me understand what went on those last few days. The night Jason got back home I heard about the making out thing, and that was okay because that's all it was supposed to be. When we came up with that plan to get him to like you, I didn't know this was how things would turn out. I never would have participated if I'd known."

Sighing deeply, I take a moment to gather my thoughts. It was honestly supposed to be a fun joke, but being with him did things to me. Today, I know I just wasn't prepared for all that. I let my fingers play in her hair.

" I know it wasn't supposed to be like that. I didn't plan to have sex with him. You know better than anyone else what my relationship with him was like. I just wanted us to be peaceful, and then it was like my body woke up one day and decided your brother was hot. Like smoking hot.... It was weird, and wonderful, and," taking a deep breath, I put the truth out there," I don't regret any of it. In a weird, slightly gross way, he gave me some of the best experiences of my life. I just wish that I could have turned my feelings back off after he left. Because it's clear that I was the only one feeling anything."

And now I'm back to feeling mopey. Nothing like a one night stand with a guy you like to put a damper on a gorgeous morning. Reese finally sits up and looks at me like she's ready to be my best friend.

She chews on her bottom lip as if she's debating with herself over something. Her eyes sparkle with kindness and understanding as she touches my hand.

"You know he used to ask about you when he was away and when he came home. I think that... I think he knew what he did was wrong. I think he wanted to fix things; he just didn't know how."

And what a funny thought that is. I do feel that he felt guilty on some level, but she makes it sound as if he really cared about me. You know, as more than just his little sister's best friend. But I owe her the honesty I wasn't giving before. And so I say, for what I hope is the last time, "I forgave him a while ago. I accept my part in what happened between us, and now I'm just focused on moving on, and on being friends.

We sat in comfortable silence, enjoying the morning, until our little monsters came and demanded that we take them to the movies.