Harry's Shorts

Regrets Belong To Yesterday

The War was over, Voldemort defeated, but there had been some loose ends to tie up, parents to bring back from Australia, and Weasleys to be comforted. Finally, Harry and Hermione have some time to themselves—time to take a much needed holiday—a holiday taken the old fashioned muggle way...

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Hermione was still asleep, nestled under Harry's arm with her head against his chest. He sighed contentedly and looked out of the window of the 747 airliner bound for New York. All he could see below were billowy clouds now, hiding the Atlantic beneath them. His mind wandered to the events which had led him to this moment.

This was the first chance that Harry and Hermione had had to be alone together since the end of the war. He thought back to Ron's bitter features as Ron, Ginny, and George had seen them both off at Heathrow several hours ago. Every once in a while Harry still felt a bit guilty about how things had turned out — and this was one of those moments. Hr traveled past the thoughts he'd had back at the airport where he had tried to convince himself that Ron was simply hurt about not being able to come with them to New York.

Now Harry couldn't stop himself from thinking about Ron's feelings of jealousy. Ron was his best friend, and Harry couldn't help thinking that in some way he had betrayed Ron. But it wasn't like that, a little voice whispered in the back of his head — a little voice which sounded suspiciously like Hermione's. Ron couldn't possibly expect to be forgiven so completely by her after abandoning her to possible capture, torture, and death — or worse, given the proclivities of many Death Eaters — in the middle of a war.

Harry tried to push aside all of the niggling doubts and sighed. After everything they had all been through together, he hoped Ron could get past it eventually. Harry really wanted his best friend back, but he had a bad feeling that things might not be the same between them again. Despite Ron's best efforts to put a good face on things, he was showing signs of strain; trying to battle his jealousy seemed to be a bit more than he could handle.

And there was something more that Harry sensed in Ron — a deep abiding pain which had nothing to do with hurt feelings over a failed relationship with Hermione — but he couldn't quite work out what it was and tried again to put it out of his mind.

Harry held Hermione a bit tighter and breathed in her minty fragrance, relaxing as her presence occupied the space he had made for her in his heart. She was beautiful, kind, loyal, and smart, and fearless in the face of danger. He loved her more than he had ever imagined that love could feel like. It wasn't unlike the pain he had felt at losing Sirius, but it was so much more than that. For the first time in his life Harry really understood what Dumbledore had told him at the end of fifth year. Harry finally knew what it truly meant to love someone; if he lost her, he knew it would break him.

Harry wondered why Hermione had chosen to be with him. She didn't have to be with him just because she had broken up with Ron. He thought back to the conversation they'd had just after Godric's Hollow.

Hermione had told him that all she had ever wanted to do was protect him from Voldemort. And after their first kiss she had said to Harry that she had let herself grow closer to Ron against her better judgment — that she'd known for years that it probably wouldn't work with him. But did that really mean that Hermione had known for years that she loved Harry?

"I love Harry, Ron. I... I think I always have..." Hermione had said to Ron the night he had returned and killed the Horcrux, and Ron had seemed to accept that, having already recognised that they weren't really good for each other. But Harry had never quite had a chance to ask her what she meant.

Hermione stirred in his arms, then opened her eyes. She sat up properly and they peered at each other, both of them turning pink, and both of them feeling a bit puzzled as well. She had heard his thoughts and they had awoken her. It was a bit odd; this thought-sharing business had been occurring with greater frequency over the last few weeks.

Hermione smiled, but there was a hint of regret.

"Since third year, Harry. I... I've liked you ever since first year, actually. Ginny isn't the only girl who ever had a crush on you. But I finally realised how much I loved you at the end of third year when you saved us all from those horrid Dementors. When you thought you saw your father..." Hermione's voice cracked, and a tear rolled down one cheek. "It was so sad, and I knew that I just wanted you to be happy. ... And when we flew together on Buckbeak, as frightened as I was of falling, I knew you wouldn't let me.

"I... I wish I'd asked you to be with me years ago. I don't know why I didn't... except you never seemed particularly interested in girls until fourth year. I thought about asking you to the Ball myself, but only after I had already agreed to go with Viktor. Then there was fifth year... and Cho." Then Hermione's tears began to flow in earnest. "And... and then I thought that you and Ginny — but she's a good friend... I didn't want to stand in the way of your happiness together."

Harry looked at his girlfriend soberly with regrets of his own.

"I never really knew, Hermione. I'm a bit of an idiot when it comes to relationships and girls. But I always knew that I was happy when you were around, and miserable when you weren't." He sighed. "And after Ron left during the horcrux hunt, I realised that what I had with Ginny wasn't really real — it was nothing like what we have... Looking back, I wish we'd got together sooner too."

Then Harry brightened a bit as he continued.

"But we're together now..." he said, gently caressing her flushed cheek with the back of his hand.

"...and that's all that really matters," Hermione finished for the both of them.

She leaned back into Harry, her arm across his waist, and his over her shoulders. He kissed the top of her bushy head, then tilted his own until their lips met and kissed her deeply as the 747 trundled above the clouds, bringing them closer to a long-needed holiday..