Behind The Scenes

My name is Chy

Ughhhh. I did it again, I didn't get any sleep last night because I decided that it was a good idea to watch netflix to distract myself from my problems and ended up not going to sleep until four in the damn morning. I have to be at school in less than an hour and a half and I'll be damned if I show up late on the first day and draw more attention to myself than I already need to. I have to get in the shower. I hate it , I have to see my body again. This is where my dysphoria decided to kick in. I'm fine , It's just like 20 minutes give or take.

I get out of my bed and grab my stuff and head in my bathroom. Thank god I have my own private bathroom. It's made my life so much easier. My bathroom is a pale pink, it's claiming I like it this way. I hop in the shower and try to not look down as much as I can. It sounds a lot easier than it actually is when I see my body I get nauseous, and I'm not being over dramatic. It's really that bad. I do my business and hop back out. Time for clothes hooray ! This is where you cue the sarcasm. Like I said before I don't want to draw attention to myself , I grab a white tee and some black jeans, some good ole Nike's and a jacket just in case I get cold.

I quietly creep out of my room. I do NOT need to wake my mother, that is the last thing I need this morning.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

Well shit, Ronald is up.

"School , mother said she was going to remind you yesterday i'm sorry for waking you if I was too loud."

I have to be as sincere as I can because I don't want him to beat the shit out of me, we don't need a counselors visit again. 

I know what you're thinking. Who the hell is Ronald! Well Ronald is my step father, and unlike the books when he hits me I don't hide it. He's smart about what he does. He doesn't leave marks but it sure does hurt like a bitch. Mothers not oblivious to it , she just feels like it's discipline. She said "if you're not doing anything wrong this wouldn't be a problem now would it?" She's not blindly in love with Ronald either she sees through his bull. She just doesn't like me because of my morals, because of how I live and want to be seen.

"Don't let the shit happen again Christopher"

"it's Chy" I mutter

"That's not what it says on your birth certificate does it"

"No. Have a good day Ronald , could you tell mother that I left when she gets up"

"mhm"

I say thanks as I walk downstairs to grab my keys and get the hell out of this house.

I taught myself how to drive when I was 16. Not the safest thing to do, but youtube can teach you a lot believe it or not, and I saved up my birthday since I was twelve so I could afford to buy this car when I turned seventeen. It's not the best but it sure gets me to where I got to go. I don't like being at home so i'd rather be able to leave when I want.

My school is like a 10 minute drive and I like to be early so I can sit in the library and relax before the long day, catch up on my reading. By the time I make it in the library I have a good thirty minutes before school starts.

"Hey Ms. Lewis"

I greet the school  librarian as I walk in. I like her because she doesn't ever ask questions, she usually just minds her business.

"Hey Chy. Excited for the the new school year"

"eh. why not. schools alright but I wouldn't exactly say i'm excited i'm just ready to get out of here"

"You say that every year, I think you might actually like this year dear. You never know what the school year has in store."

This lady is  being weird and I don't like it.

"What do you know..."

"oh nothing, i'm just saying be a little more hmmm optimistic this year maybe."

"okay, well thanks for the talk but I think i'll actually go get a locker early or something."

Now i'm uncomfortable. I don't like conversation, not to sound rude but i'd prefer if no one talked to me. It's better I be left alone, not that I'm socially awkward or anything. I just don't like people.

By the time I get a locker which by the way I'm never going to use, the first bell rings. WELP off to class but not too early, but I don't want to be late. After walking around for a good 5 minutes I go to my first class... Math.

Who the fuck does that. Math first period, are you trying to kill my brain. It's nine in the morning and you think my brain can operate to find out the missing variables.

Anyways, I walk in the classroom and it's half full good. I take a seat somewhere in the middle, it doesn't draw as much attention as the front or the back and I'm less likely to get called on cause it's rare that the teacher would actually see me.

A couple minutes later the bell rings signaling class to actually start. We start the lesson today's the first day so nobody's actually listening to be totally honest. Everybody's just trying to figure out who they're sitting next to , and their new friends for the year. I on the other hand decided to read the room. I look around and all I see are school hoes, the football players , a couple cheerleaders and the math nerds, some of them even being lower class men too smart for their own curriculum. I decided to put in my headphones. I'm not missing anything important so it doesn't matter, it's all review and I'm good at math so I'm fine.

Half way through my song somebody taps me on my shoulder.

Oh Shit

I take out one of my earbuds and turn around to see who it is.

"excuse me, i'm sorry if i'm bothering you but can I sit in that seat"

oh right I didn't move my book bag.

"y-yeah my bad, let me just grab my stuff"

"thanks, i'm Zoe and you are ... "

"call me Chy"

"wait Chy, omg Chy it's you !"

"Alonzoe?"

He's changed A LOT

"well yeah you shit , I'M BACK BITCH"

"oh my god"

I haven't seen Alonzoe since the eighth grade. He's the only person I ever really trusted to tell everything to. He left to who knows where after junior high graduation and now he's back. I can't even talk right now.

"Chy ... bitch fill me the fuck in!"

***
This is officially my first chapter guys ! Im excited like hell even tho no one is seeing this right now. I hope someone will 😕 Anyways First Chapter Done ! ahhhhh me so happy ! 😁 If anyone does see this can you maybe um like give me some feedback i'm really rusty and I haven't wrote anything in years and it wasn't even writers block it was the lack of motivation i've been going through quite a lot . ha look at me talking to myself again. Well if anybody ever decided to come here and check this out , HEYY !

i'll come back and check for any grammar mistakes or anything like that later 😗 

See you guys later !