Gone Now: Before You Go Series 2 (NCT Dream)

0.6 Acceptance

"Hey, Lucas. What's up?" The young male was standing on his elder brothers grave, holding bright lilies that still smelled fresh. He was smiling looking down, admiring the beautiful grave that was cleaned at least once a week.

"I missed you today, mom surprisingly didn't cry this year, though dad did." He chuckled as he said.

Today was a special day, it's been two years since he had passed.

The last two years were filled with grieving, heartache and acceptance.

We moved on as best as we could, Yuta and Sungchan were still kept in contact with us, even after we decided to go back to China for a year, though now we're back and better than ever as we some foreigners would say.

We were able to move on though weren't left unscathed of the events.

We told our other cousins Xiaojun, Chenle, Doyoung, and more about Lucas. Even the toddler that was born was few days after Lucas' passing, Shotaro.

We continued to speak and remember him for who he was, not who he became in his moments of darkness.

"Mom almost- gave up. She was scared and she didn't know what to do. But you said that we had to take care of her-"

"So we did," Hendery smiled as he hugged me to the side as he suddenly approached, "We made her get therapy, and it's helping."

"Of course nothing will ever really get rid of the pain that we felt," Renjun sighed out and touched the stone. "But it was worth it to feel you be happier, whenever you are."

"We miss you so much," Hendery said leaning down to match Renjun's low squat, "Thank you for the memories big brother," he said a slight tearful, goodbye was what he uttered before stepping up and watching his younger brother stare longer at the tomb stone saying nothing.

"Renjun-"

"You are loved." He stood up and with out another word screamed at the top of his lungs, "Lucas you are loved! You deserve better, because you loved us and we loved you!"

Smiling like a mad man before regaining his composure and sadly smiling up at the sky and Hendery.

"You were a blessing to have as an older brother, and I'll be a better brother because of you." Hendery laughed as he looked at the younger who in this case, acted way older than he was.

"I will too Lucas!" He slung an arm around Renjun's neck before screaming at the top of his lungs, "I will be the best damn brother of the Huang family!" He then laughed insanely before hugging the younger tightly.

"Renjun, I love you."

"I love you too Hendery!" He said muffled into Hendery's large and thick coat for the winter season.

"I love you both too," he said from the top of the tree, sitting and admiring his two brothers that he misses dearly. But can be feigned that he misses them more than anything. But he's happy. He finally got the peace he longed for, though it came with consequences he got peace.

Though others may not.

Suicide, depression, or any other form of mental health, is not easy to go out of.

Thinking what is so wrong with you that, it had gotten to that point and a conjunction of insecurities, self doubt, self pity, and being uncomfortable and unconfident in whatever you maybe, just build up

but suicide should never be the only option given for you to feel like it's okay.

How many overdoses, therapy sessions, rehab, are you willing to do in order to try and look better, when your insides are hurting.

Suicide is not a way to get rid of pain, it will simply be pain that reaches a whole new level of depression.

Everyone deserves to live, change, and make mistakes.

No one deserves to die thinking it was there fault.

Because this isn't your fault.

This is the fault of the ones who made you feel so bad about yourself, and the people who lost hope in your light before you blossomed out and is shunting through now.

Suicide hotline: +18002738255

It's always open. For you. Whoever you may be.

~

Thank you all so much for the support from this book. I hope that to whoever may be reading this you all have a happy holiday season, and a merry Christmas eve to those who celebrate. Times are tough and I am always here to talk to who ever may need it!