Cᥣosᥱ ყoᥙr ᥱყᥱs ᥲᥒd ιmᥲgιᥒᥱ mᥱ

BRIAN

His room had been filled with dreams... boys' faces from his school and from the people you see in the streets and you just touch them in your thoughts... they become one with your sigh, they become one with your breath. You feel them caressing you, throwing you onto the bed, with such strength, they literally destroy you. THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED... to be touched, even by, at least, one of them. The bodies to get connected. To lick even the last drip from the romance and close his eyes with pleasure.
It was 6:00. He took his phone, looked for any messages, turned it off and changed sides disappointed. The window was open, the curtains were waving, he was getting chills from the air. He just wanted to shout who he really is... to tell everybody the thing he never got the courage to say... to admit that he likes boys.
He teared up. He thought of the future. He thought all the people he saw in his dream, how they would react if they learnt his thoughts. He wiped his tears and took a deep breath. He was feeling locked up; inside and outside. He closed his eyes. School would start later. It was September, and the first day of school could only be boring!
"Mum, I want to borrow your car today, I will hang out with the guys..."
"Will, there's no way you'll borrow it and you know that."
"I'm sick of this house... I am going to Jess's."
"Don't you have classes?"
The same thing, every day. The same conversation. The small slices of bread covered with merenda, and my mum who keeps forbidding Will for something. A routine!
Will is Vincent's older brother. Most of the time he isn't home since he's going to his girlfriend; Jess's house...
Vins, asleep as he was, walks down the stairs.
"Ready for school?"
"Mum, I'm not in the mood. Give me some water."
"Is something wrong, Vins?", that's mum's nickname for Vincent, Vins.
"No, nothing."
Vincent sat down at the table.
"Did Brian call?"
Brian is Vins's best friend. They have been friends since primary school.
"No! Why you ask?"
"He has ages to text me.. and I don't know.." Vins walked up the stairs and went to his room. Since he was all dressed up; yellow jumper, black jeans, all stars, ready for school, after awhile his phone rang. It was Brian. They planned to go to school together, they would meet up outside Miss Helen's bakery, which is some steps away.
He left, opened the door which would lead to the main street. He smelt dirt. The air was blowing, everything that was in the atmosphere was all over the place.. the moon was still there. Vins looked at it and sighed. He continued to walk... he got to the bakery. Brian was sat at the bakery's stairs while kissing a girl. Vins felt awkward.. he put his bag down and whispered to Brian:
"Hey.. we'll be late."
Brian didn't care. The girl stopped kissing him and turned to Vins:
"What's your name?"
Brian got angry.
"Jun! He's my best friend!"
Jun looked at Vins, shocked.
"Excuse me if I seem straightforward... are you gay? You seem like one..."
Vins got reddened, his freckles made their appearance, and looked atBrian
"No, I'm not gay.. I'm just waiting for this asshole who I call my best friend, to stop playing and go to school.
Vins left... he got his bag angrily, and started crying. He played 'Mystery Of Love' on his phone and looked at the sky. The sun was shining... weird... the moon had disappeared. He was filled with hotness and chills. The thing he minded was that Brian didn't tell him anything about this girl.. but Vins got jealous of Brian that he was able to kiss Jun.. maybe HE wanted to be in HER place.. but the fact that he called him gay, offended him. Also, he had been hiding that secret for a lot of time and he didn't want to answer a fat "YES" to the question "Are you gay?".
In the end, he went to school. After lots of Algebra, Literature and other subjects' classes, the bell rang. While Vins was heading to the school's court, he saw a fallen walk-man. He got weirded out. He took it and put it in his bag. After that, he headed to the back side of the school where it was a literal paradise for him. He put his books out of his bag and looked at the field. His books were mostly books with art paintings; an autobiography of Van Gogh and an astrology map. he loved reading about the stars and learn weird and unreal things and anything that no one knew about the stars. He took Van Gogh's book and opened it... he went to the page he was left on, 35, and read the first lines. It was impossible to concentrate. He was thinking of Brian, Jun's whole paranoia in which she lives. A life with so many lies, so many hidden emotions, hidden pleasures and male genitals. I'M THAT DIFFERENT AFTER ALL.. he said and looked in front of him; nature. Some aggressive greens, the birds' singing made him not to think of anything. Behind him, a silver door which lead to the school's basement, in which the area was forbidden. He touched the door. His yellow curly hair were playing with the wind, his light blue eyes were shining from the sun. He bent the corner of the book's page and closed it. The school bell would ring in a bit. He was so hurt by Brian that he didn't want to see him but he also wanted to hug him tightly... to touch his back... to feel his bones. to smell his skin. He wanted to give love but he couldn't find who.
Vins wasn't in the mood for any lesson, he was so confused that he was drawing circles on the paper and Biology as the last lesson was a bit uncool. He turned his head up and looked outside the window. A tall tree made its appearance. Vins closed his eyes. Quickly, his expression lead to his classmates' well-physical feet. He tried to look at their faces as much as he could, faces that puberty left signs of impulse and expectancy. A bit more different expectancy than Vans's. They wanted a woman with pretty eyes that could make them play with her own games. While they're waiting for that first time to come, Vins is waiting to learn if someone truly loves him, if someone wants to kiss him, if someone asks to see him everyday and cuddle together with the same excitement every time.
The bell rang, time has passed. The lesson ended. Vins left school destroyed, not destroyed from a touch or impulse. But from the LOVE HE WILL NEVER FEEL!