Out of the woods

We were built to fall apart

"Taylor! Wait! I can explain!"

I keep running.

"Please!"

I don't stop.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you!" Okay I'll admit that was childish. Whatever.

"You're going in the wrong direction. You're going towards the reservation."

"Maybe I can get a ride home! Or at least further from you!"

"Taylor! Let me explain! If you're still not happy I can take you back to your cabin and you can go home. Just give me a chance!"

I stop, turn around and face him. He's caught up to me, of course. He isn't even puffed but I'm gasping for air. Running 50m on a beach while recovering from a concussion is no easy task for someone as unfit as I. My friend Karlie keeps encouraging me to hit the gym. Maybe when I move to New York I'll give it a shot.

"This is...complicated. Difficult to explain. I'll...try."

"Mmm hmm." I sand with my hands on my hips. Yes, immature and sassy. I'm angry okay.

"Reneesme, the girl, fancies herself in love with me. As her....sister, Bella's, best friend, I have known her and cared about her for a long time. I do not wish to hurt her, but she is far too young and Edward will castrate me if I do anything untoward, so I tried to gently let her down, staying away for a while. In an attempt to make me jealous she asked Seth to Prom since I refused her. I guess that's still happening, although it's against my will, and Seth being only a bit younger than me is still too old and not as careful with her as I am. I fear he will only hurt her, but it appears I am the one who did that. I'm afraid my lifelong friendship with Bella is now ruined. When I told Reneesme no, she wouldn't take 'you're too young' as an excuse, so I said I'm too busy I don't want any girls in my life, and of course seeing you she jumped to a conclusion and now I'm in this huge mess and I just need to be away from it all. And now I've stuffed things up with you. Not that there was any 'thing' with you to stuff up. But I thought we could be good friends. You're funny. I'm comfortable around you."

"I'm comfortable around you too. No faking. Okay I understand now. I'm still upset though. "

"I'm sorry they judged you."

"They judged you too."

"They'll get over it."

"I hope so. You care about them a lot."

"So we are okay? Friends?"

"I suppose. Can we go back now it's freezing!"

Jacob looks at my shivering form, seemingly surprised. I notice that he doesn't even have goosebumps, even though he's not even wearing a jacket. He must be used to the cold having lived here his whole life.

"Yeah sure."

Jacob grabs my hand and starts rubbing it warm with his. I hadn't noticed this before but Jacob is always abnormally warm. Weird. Before I could think any deeper about why Jacob might be abnormally warm in the middle of winter, my thoughts are interrupted by a howling wolf.  Jacobs eyes widen and his grip on my hands tightens.

"I knew I wasn't hallucinating! I saw a wolf right before I crashed! I knew it!" I am victorious, knowing I'm not crazy.

Jacob frowns at me. "That's my friend Seths husky howling."

"I call bullshit Jacob. You say you want us to be friends and you want me to trust you but not 5 minutes later you lie to me again. I don't understand why, so there are wolves in the woods, what's the big deal? why are you lying to me?? Everyone always lies to me!"

"Shhh calm down Taylor I'd tell you if I could damn it not everything's always about you, you know? Some of us civilians have secrets too okay?? I don't ask you to tell me yours don't ask me to tell you mine damn it." He all but yells at me.

Too angry to respond I stomp away from him again.

"You need to take me back to my cabin. I don't think this friends thing is going to work out. "

"Maybe I don't want it to work out." He grinds out pulling at his dark hair.

I'm hurt. I know I haven't been the nicest person and I'm childish but this just hurts the first person in a long while I've been myself around and he clearly doesn't like me or trust me and lies to me and doesn't want to be my friend.

"Shit Taylor that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then? You obviously don't trust me to tell me there are wolves and I'm not crazy and you don't even want to be my friend just take me home."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Im so confused! what do you want then?"

"Shit." he mutters under his breath but I could still hear it. He pulls at his hair again and strides towards me, looking deep into my eyes. Before I could process what's happening his lips are on mine.