Out of the woods

Then fall back together

I gasp and attempt to move closer to him. Being the goof that I am, I trip over nothing. Instead of sexily leaning into Jacob as I had planned, I fall into the sand, pushing Jacob down with me. And unlike in the movies, this is not cute or romantic. It is painful. I think I banged my elbow on a rock.

Humiliated, I look up from the sand and at Jacob for the first time since the kiss and my subsequent trip.

"Geesh I know I'm a great kisser and all but it's a bit too soon to be falling for me." Jacob smirks.

I attempt to stand up and face palm at the same time. I should know by now that multitasking is not my thing. I end up half standing before tripping on Jacobs legs. Ugh. Can't I catch a break from humiliation? Humorously, my second fall results in a sharp elbow to Jacobs gut. Serves him right for that smart remark. Attempting to stand for the second time, I move more slowly and carefully, trying not to embarrass myself again. Jacob also seems to be embarrassed as he has not yet made another rude comment. Finally firmly standing I look down at Jacob, still lying in the stand.

"Need a hand up?" I offer.

He grunts and ignores my hand, pushing himself off the sand. This is twice in how many minutes we've been in this position. I don't know how to feel about it. I don't know how to feel about anything, really.

Jacob and I ignore each other as we dust the sand off for the trillionth time today. Now I remember why I don't visit the beach often, it's a lot of work. Jacob looks over at me, silently taking my hand and leading me back into the woods. I am too absorbed into my thoughts to protest or demand further explanations.

The walk back to the cabin is filled with our repertoire we built up the previous day, talking about movies and TV shows and food and animals and music (thankfully not mine though). Jacob and I, despite being from wholly different worlds, have many of the same tastes and interests.

The conversation comes to a lull and I contemplate my situation. I know I should probably get him to take me back to my cabin and return to my life, but I find that for once I don't want to be busy, I don't want to write songs, I don't want to be working. I just want to get to know Jacob. He has me enraptured. I know he has secrets and that there is no future for us, but I would not want a future with him as I do not want him to be pulled into my world. The mystery surrounding him and knowledge that I cannot possibly have a relationship with him does not deter me but rather excites me. I can see it end as it begins. Damn that would make a great lyric. I must remember that one.

Jacob and I have been walking through the woods for a few minutes now, and I was so lost in my thoughts I did not notice that he still held my hand, or that the pine needles and rocks on the forest floor are digging painfully into my bare feet which are still trying to recover from when they got ripped up when I had my nightmare. I grit my teeth and continue walking. I'll have to get Jacob to germs me some shoes. I don't know how Jacob knows where we are going, as the slim deer trail we are on has many divergences into other directions, but he navigates it effortlessly, as if he has walked this path a hundred times before. He probably has. He's probably lived here his whole life.

"Have you lived here your whole life?" I ask him.

"I lived in the reservation, but only moved into the log cabin a few years ago after my father passed."

I don't know what to say, what do you say to that? "I'm sorry for your loss." I don't know what else to add. Jacob is squeezing my hand hard, and I give it a squeeze back. The physical reassurance I give seems to be much more appreciated than the words, as he takes a long breath and runs his free hand through his shaggy hair. In books they always use distraction. I should do that.

"What type of cookies are your favourite? I will bake them for you if you want?"

"Really??"

I give him a nod and a hand squeeze.

"Macadamia nut cookies from subway are the best, do you know how to make those?" He asks with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Sure!" I chirp. "My brother Austin likes them also, but he says mine are better."

"Confidant are we?"

"Baking at 2 am is the second best therapy. And trust me, I've needed a lot of that these last few years."

"I hope a need for therapeutic relief isn't what's driving you to bake this time."

"No, it's not. I'm so grateful for you, I'm pretty sure you saved my life the least I can do is bake you cookies, if you have the ingredients of course."

"Ooh I don't know if I'll have what you need, but I can always run to my neighbours and get what we need. I'll warn you though, I'm a harsh judge. I take cookie eating very seriously. I won't say I like your cookies just because you're famous."

The cheek! But that's what I like about him, he doesn't treat me differently.
"I have many retorts to that, but I'll just let the cookies do the talking."

"Uh huh. We will see."

We continue walking in a comfortable silence until we reach the familiar clearing. I take a moment to admire the beauty and the tranquility. I wish I could stay here forever.

I go inside and expect Jacobs pantry. He does not have the ingredients. He hardly has anything besides meat, noodles and cup-a-soup. I look towards Jacob who is stacking wood by the fireplace.

"You have hardly anything! You are not an avid baker obviously." I exclaim.

"Er no, the elders always provided so well for us, I never had the need to cook or bake. Now that I'm on my own out here I should probably learn, but the laziness prevails."

"Well that's it, while I'm stuck here with you recovering I will teach you to cook and bake! I'll make you a list of what we need okay?"

"Okay, that sounds great!" He enthuses.