Not Today

Chapter 2

Eight months ago, I received a call from an unknown number.

The other line was silent for minutes after I answered.

“Hello?”

“Who’s this, please?”

“Hello?” I tried again.

My brows furrowed with irritation on the caller. Maybe I was being prank called.

But just when I was about to end it, I heard a voice.

A voice I haven’t heard for years, yet still recognizes.

“Cha,” it’s father.
---
3 weeks ago

I was surprised to see Ysmael in front our house.

He was wearing a loose white shirt—well, not so white with the visible coffee stain below it—paired with dark gray jogging pants. His hair was unkempt, dark bags under his eyes. He looked like he’d skip class for today, considering his shape and all. Moreover, he seemed distressed about something.

And that worries me…

When he came straight right here in the morning after a seemingly sleepless night.

We stared at each other. It’s been quite a while since the last I stared at those eyes. After what happened three years ago, we barely see each other—or talk for that matter. But when we did, however, all we had were glances and courteous nods.

A lot has changed in our relationship, really. We’re not much of a close friend now, rather an acquaintance. Only Derex and I stayed together. And Kim… Derex shut her out.

I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it. What should I say to him?

We were playing strangers for years and this is as awkward as it could get. Thankfully, he realized my dilemma.

“May I come in?” he asked. Right, he wanted for us to talk, but about what?

I removed my eyes from him for a second. No one was inside the house. I was running late for school, actually.  Unconsciously, I fidgeted my fingers.

Seeing my hesitation, he backed away.

He thinks I’m afraid of him when truth is, I’m not. I just distanced myself from him for the sake of family, that’s all.

Even when he blamed himself for killing our friend’s father—it wasn’t entirely his fault—he has always been a harmless person. It was just his guilt and Derex’s anger that makes him think otherwise.

My hesitation, on the other hand, was a facade of the anxiousness for the talk we would have.

Indeed, I was right to be.
---
1 week ago

I stopped my breath and closed my eyes as I pressed the door bell for the fourth time.

Derex and Ysmael, though separately, tried to talk me out of this, yet here I am.

No one came out of the house, still.

Maybe this was a sign—that I was making the wrong decision. God, was I so stubborn to be here.

I waited, but no one seems to have learned I was here. Should I press it again? I contemplated.

Sighing, I turned my back. Maybe I should just go home.

Suddenly, I heard the gate opening. I turned back.

“Ma’am Charisse!” Manang Elsa was smiling at me. I was surprised when she quickly hugged me. I embraced her back, smiling now, too. She removed herself from me.

“Charisse, ija, it’s been years since you came here,” she said. I smiled apologetically.

“Manang, I came here because-” I was cut off by the person behind her.

“Manang, I told you not to let her in!” Ysmael exclaimed. Manang turned at him.

“And why is that, Ysmael?” I saw auntie Lea coming out of the house. She smiled at me.

“It’s been a long time, Charisse,” auntie Lea said, kissing my cheeks. She then focused on Ysmael.

“We didn’t raise you to be rude to guests, Ysmael. Besides, she’s still your friend,” she reprimanded him.

Ysmael lowered his head. He turned it on the side, clenching his fists.

“What brings you here?” auntie asked me.

I wet my lips from the tension before saying, “I was hoping to talk with Uncle Luthor. Is he inside, auntie?”

She backed away, confused why I visited after three years looking for his husband. But later on, she laced it with a polite smile.

“Luthor’s inside,” she motioned her hand at the house. She then walked back inside, leading the way. Manang followed her, I did, too.

“Don’t do this, Cha,” Ysmael broke his silence. I looked back at him.

“I don’t want a rerun of what happened before, now with your father,” he said sincerely. I stared at his eyes, guilt was all I saw.

I sighed knowing there’s no way both parties will get past this anytime sooner. If they don’t stop blaming themselves and each other for what happened, then hopes of reconciliation is just a waste. But this… I wanted to stop this. Ysmael and Derex were good friends. We were all good friends that I regret too much seeing where it is now.

“It wasn’t entirely your fault Uncle Xennon died. Derex made his choice, as I am now,” I wiped the tear that slipped from my eyes. I hope things go well with my plan. God, please.

“But it was your burden to bear when you promised something that wasn’t up to your call.”

He ran his fingers through his hair thoughtlessly, hurt. I beamed at him.

“Don’t blame yourself for the things you have no control of.”

That’s what Dad taught me.