Dear Mama,
I hate you.
I know I'm not supposed to but I do. I don't have anger issues, you just never try to understand my point of view. Fiona is the only one you care about. The favorite because she's the youngest.
I know she's your perfect child, I'm the screw up but I need your love as well. You don't see what every hateful look does to me, how I strive to be the perfect daughter. But I never will be. I'm sorry. I wish I could be better for you. I wish I was enough.
You asked me about my suicide attempts just the other day. How do you remember them when you couldn't remember to visit me? You asked why I did it. Why I had those thoughts. All I can say is it was due to the fact I'm lost and alone. I need stable ground but I'm drowning in the ocean you've thrown me into.
I don't really hate you. I can't. I love you Mama....
~The imperfect daughter
