GALLAVICH oneshots 🥴🥴💕

I'm Grey.

My heart hurts...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary: Mickey gets depressed and beaten up in jail for having Ian's name on his chest.

Word count: 1, 326
_________________________________________

Mickeys POV

"Yeah, man. I'll wait."

Oh, my god.

I can't breathe.

I wanna cry. No, don't cry. At least wait until hes gone.

There he is. Walking out the door.

Damn, he didn't even look back.

Why didn't he look back?

I would've looked back.

I wouldn't of broken up with me in the first place.

I would wait.

But he said that he gunna wait, right?

Who am I kidding?

Of course hes not going to wait. I don't know why I sugarcoat things for myself.

I know that he's not gunna wait. Why would he? I'm not worth his time. I'm not worth his energy. I'm not worth his love. I'm not worth anything.

I'm just worthless.

Just put the phone back before you get yelled at. But, I dont want to. Because if I do, then that means that the visit is officially over. Then, I won't see him for a long, long, long time. I seriously doubt that he is gunna visit me again after this. I have to put the phone back. Fuck, it's over. Come on, get up and walk away, Mickey.

When I get out, I bet that he will be happily married, with kids. And a fucking dog. And all that I'll be to him is a distant memory that is hidden in the darkest corner of his brain. Where all the not important things go. At first they have color and are happy. But the less you start to care about them, the more and more they turn grey. After they have been grey for a while, they get washed out. No more memory. It's not like hes gunna miss them. It's not like hes gunna miss me.

If I'm being honest, I think that I'm already grey. I think that I've been grey for a little bit. I'll probably be washed out soon. A year? No. Months? Probably not. Maybe he forgot about me just after he left. I wouldn't blame him. I wish that I could forget about me. But, I would never kill myself. Because, I can't take any chances. Maybe when I get out he will be ready for me. Maybe.

Probably not.

Because let's not forget....

I'm grey.

And I need to take a fucking shower, like, what the hell man? I reek. It's probably the sent of worthlessness. Is that a thing? Well, it is now. I just made it up. I am it.

Let me get a towel. Wow, this is soft. Like Ian's hair- HEY! Shut the fuck up, Mickey! You stupid fucking bitch. I hate you. Do other people talk to themselves like this? I hope they do. I don't wanna be crazy on top of being a worthless pile of rotting dog shit. That no one cares about. Not even the person that I gave up everything for and almost died for. Like, twice!

Okay, now that I'm in the shower, let's turn the water on. Make it cold. You deserve freezing cold showers like your heart! Damn, I'm mean. I'm hurting my own selfs feelings. But, I deserve it! And thats kind of the point, dumbass.

Oh, holy fuck! Shit! Ahhh, this is really cold. Someone who used to take cold showers told me that taking them is good for you and it saves energy. Because they had a lot of siblings and they were so considerate that they took freezing cold showers just so his siblings and boyfriend could have a somewhat warm one. Chilly? Cold. Whatever. It didn't really do that much of a difference if I'm being honest, but he thought it did and his heart was in the right place. Plus, it makes his hair feel really nice for the whole day. When you run your fingers through it, it just feels calming. Especially when it was still damp. Oh, my god. Ian's red hair when it is damp is my faverate hair style for him.

Was.

Oh, fuck sake. There's Joan. Joan is an asshole. Hes always starting trouble because hes board and I'm just sick of it! Fuck. I feel like a middle aged mom...

"What's up, bitch?" His voice is raspy and deep.

That kind of scares me..

I turn around and look up a little bit. He like 5' 10", so it's not that bad.

He looks me up and down. I feel insecure and uncomfortable. Then, as his eyes are going back up my body, they stop at my infected tattoo.

"Who the fuck is I-an?"
Hes a fucking idiot.

"None of your fucking business." I turn around and try to continue with my shower.

Than, he grabs my shoulder and forces me around so that I look at him. I clench my fist. He looks at me weird and up and down again. "He your boyfriend?" My heart hurts. My stomach hurts. Boyfriend. Fuck.

"No!" I yelled it. Then, he whistled quickly and like, three guys came out of nowhere and surrounded me. Fuck my life. It was like a fucking move, like, what the hell? It's as if they fucking planned it!

I'm scared.

They are all fully clothed and I'm butt naked. I don't like this. I'm in this vulnerable position, the love of my life just shattered my heart for the 3rd time, and I'm about to be beaten and maybe raped by four dudes that are bigger than me. Everyone in here is fucking bigger than me. Even if its only by a little bit.  It's not fair! Short guys need to start committing crimes more often. I'll make a petition. But, later, of course...

I don't mean to sound like a horomonal teenage girl, but this is literally the worst day of my life.

Like, nothing could top it. I just wanna die. But, I don't want to. What if I'm wrong and Ian really does care about me. If i die he will be crushed. I know that I'm wrong but I can't chance it! Maybe they will just beat me. Yeah, I could take a beating. I deserve a beating. Its my fault that Ian didn't get the medical attention that he needed sooner. Maybe if I made him go sooner, than it wouldn't of gotton as bad as it did. I fucking suck. I deserve what ever is coming to me. I don't deserve Ian.

I was an asshole to him and-and I hit him. Fuck no! Stop! Shit! I'm crying! Oh, my god! I break down crying right in front on them. Fuck. My. Life. I will not say it again! Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing, but I don't even care.

They start beating me. And it hurts. Really, really bad. I'm still crying like a little sissy. Even harder now from the physical pain. Strong motherfuckers... Plus, the things that they are saying are fucking me up emotinally, too.

"Go cry to your boyfriend about it!"

"Awe, poor little gay baby!"

"Faggot!"

...many more things that were muffled by the water coming down on me...

They didn't rape me, thank god. I never want to have sex again!

After about 10 minutes of brutal punches and kicks and scratches and bites, they leave me naked, bloody, and bruised. Laying on the dirty prison bathroom floor and I'm looking up at the ceiling. I'm numb now. Thank god.

I wonder what Ian would say or do if he could see me right now. He probably wouldn't care. He dosen't care. Why should he care? I'm not his responsibility. I'm not his anything anymore. Wait, I am something. I am a forgotten memory. Bound to be washed away soon into officially nothingness.

Right now, I am physically numb. But, I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm remorseful. I'm forgotten.

I'm Grey.