Jack's Song

Ch. 1

It was freezing cold.

This wouldn't have been something Buck would have taken note of if he was back in Pennsylvania, but in the middle of spring in LA, it was definitely notable. It was the first sign that it would be a bad day.

The second sign was the crew of the 118 going an entire six hours without anything much worse than a cat stuck up in a tree.

Everyone was antsy, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hen's leg hadn't stopped shaking as she bounced it in anticipation and Bobby was making his third batch of muffins having already run out of things to make for lunch. Chim and Eddie had actually fought over who got to clean up, a job that was usually avoided at all costs, while Buck sat, watching on, quiet in a way he could never be on a good day.

And then his phone started ringing, startling him and everyone around him from their anticipation induced lull. Maddie's name flashes across the screen making Buck smile. No matter what happens, or how much they argue, Buck was so glad to have his big sister back in his life.

"Hey Mads," He answers cheerily after only a couple rings.

"Buck," Maddie replies in the same tone she used years ago to tell him she was moving out with her boyfriend and leaving him behind. Buck's joyful smile drops from his face, a heavy feeling settling into his chest.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" He can hear his voice shaking, his heart beats up against his chest like the flapping of a hummingbirds wings as panic begins to wash through him.

"Sadie just called me," She replies, the name rings a dusty bell in Buck's head. Sadie and her brother Jack Thompson had lived across the road from the Buckleys when they were younger. Sadie was the same age as Maddie and Jack was the same age as Buck. They had been best friends, going to their parents' galas together, playing and getting muddy in the creak in Buck's large backyard together. One of Bucks earliest memories was of a ten-year-old Sadie eating a slug on a dare, it was the grossest thing ever. She said it kind of tasted like chicken. Raw chicken.

They had been best friends until Buck was around eighteen years old when he ran away from home. He didn't mean to lose touch with his best friend. He missed them. "She said the cancer's back, Jack's back in the hospital, hospice care this time, Buck, they've only given him a month,"

Jack was diagnosed with leukemia when he was thirteen. He was in and out of the hospital for two years, looking frail and like the smallest gust of wind could take him away but he got better, he was meant to be okay now. But apparently now, at the ripe age of twenty-eight, the cancer that he thought he'd won the battle against was back and back with a vengeance.

Buck feels the world slow around him. Any heat that he'd been able to maintain today leaving his body as his knees go weak and eyes go wide. If he hadn't already been sitting, he's sure he would have fallen.

"You okay over there Buckaroo?" He distantly hears Hen's concerned voice.

"Buck, he wants to see you, to say goodbye," Maddie says, voice coming through the tiny phone speaker and sounding a lot louder than it had before.

"Buck," He could hear his friends trying to get his attention, hear his name -the nickname that he'd decided on with Jack- being repeated around him.

He's drawn back into reality by a warm heavy hand on his knee. Looking up, his eyes meet Eddies from where he was crouched at his knees, Chim standing worriedly behind him, Hen to his left and Bobby to his right.

Bobby reaches forward and pulls the phone from Bucks grip. Buck doesn't even register the man's action or the fact that his captain was now telling his sister that he would call her back later.

"Buck, are you okay?" Eddie asks carefully. He had never seen Buck so quiet, or so sad as he looks to be right now. Instead of answering, Buck launches himself into Eddie's arms, almost throwing them both onto the floor. He doesn't cry, doesn't seem to be able to, but he holds onto Eddie so tightly that it almost hurts.

"One of my friends, my childhood best friend, he- he's not doing too well," Buck chokes out just loud enough for everyone to hear, even with the words muffled by Eddie's shoulder. "I need to go see him, to say goodbye,"

"I'll organise for you to get a couple of weeks off kid, you may not have any sick leave left but you have amassed a large amount of holiday leave," Bobby tells him in a soft tone, one that reminded them all that he was a father, even though his biological kids weren't there, he was still a father.

"I don't want to go alone," Buck whispers, sounding more vulnerable and childlike than any of them had heard him sound. It was moments like these that reminded them all just how young Buck really was.

"Do you want me and Chris to come with you? I think we're due for a break too," Eddie offers, Buck hears the real underlying reason for the offer. Eddie may not say "Let me come to support you, let my son come to help stop you from slipping into a depressive state," but that meaning is there. Buck just nods against his shoulder, still holding him tight as if afraid to let go.

It takes them a week to organise everything, Buck stressing out that it's taking too long and that they might not make it in time didn't exactly help. They find a nice little hotel with really good disabled access. The book one two-bedroom room figuring that Chris would probably want to go between sleeping in Bucks bed and sleeping in his dads' bed anyway.

They had managed to both get two weeks off and so they had booked the hotel room for those two weeks as well as plane tickets for either way. Eddie had sat Chris down to explain to him why they were going to Pennsylvania and when Chris saw Buck next, he gave him an extra long hug but didn't say anything. When Eddie sees this, he can't help but feel his heart swell with pride at what an amazing kid his boy had become.

The trip went by with very little significance, they got on a plane, Buck held Chris's hand when he started panicking, helped Eddie carry him off the plane when he fell asleep and drove their rental car to the hotel when he noticed how sleepy both the Diaz boys were. That's what they get for catching a flight that lands at twelve at night.

They get to the room not long after and by one-thirty, they're sound asleep in the one bed, Buck not quite fully asleep in his position sandwiched between the two boys but rather drifting in and out of it as he prepares for the next day.