Sadness

Best Friends

"Hey...."

"...what?"

"...So...are you gunna do it? Are you gunna jump?"

I look up at the sky not really knowing how to respond to his question. I glanced down are the busy city street below. I smiled, my mind drifting off into the past. Back of into the GOOD days of my life. Before the beatings, self-harming, counseling,  bullies, sluts, wannabes,  jocks, hypocrites, labels, judgemental looks, critical comments and all the other bullshit I once thought I could deal with...back to when I was younger and the only thing hurtful anyone could ever do to me was say I'm too shy. 

My body shuddered as a cold gust of wind whipped my  dark brown hair all around me. I felt at peace with the world. From the ledge of a twenty story building, ironically, I never felt better than I did now. 

"Shelly?"

I smile as he uses his nickname for me from when we were just a bunch of toddlers laughing away without a care in the world. I feel tears forming at the corner of my eyes.

"Yes Jordan?" I reply brokenly. 

"I have nothing left now..." I think to myself. The very thought causes my heart to drop. 

"...Shelly, you know why I'm here right?" his voic cracks as I can hear his feet scrape against to roofing as he slowly makes his way to me.

I don't respond to him, at the moment I'm too caught up in the beauty of all the twinkling lights below me. "So pretty...unlike me..."

"Shelly I'm not letting you leave me like this. I won't allow you to go through with this. You can't, I need you hear," he says as he quickly but gently pulls me into his chest from my place on the ledge.  The tears are now  pouring down my cheeks like two big waterfalls. I feel myself giving in. 

Jordan just stands there stroking my hair and whispering that everything will be okay from now on. "But  How Is He So Sure That Everything Will Be Okay If It's Not! IT NEVER HAS BEEN!" I snap suddenly I feel so Angry at Jordan. He has no say in what I do to myself! He never had that right! I begin struggling in his grasp. I want to jump! I want to end my crappy life! Why can't he just let me go!? Everyone esle did it so esaliy, even my own Parents didn't stop me from walking out of the house to my death. Why is it him! Why can't He LET ME GO!?

"Jordan, let me go!"

He shakes his head tighting his grip on me. I struggle more pownding my angry fists on his chest, claiwing at him with my nails leaving angry red marks on his exposed shoulders. 

"LET ME GO JORDAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I WANT TO DIE!? LET ME DIE!? WHY!? WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME BE!? I WANT TO DIE!!" I scream as I blindly hit him, my whole body is shaking with sobs as wave after wave of pure, raw emotion wrack my body. I feel Jordan grab my arms and force me to face him. His face is just inches from mine. His light brown eyes are full of sorrow as he just stares at me. There are tear marks tracked all over his cheeks. I suddenly feel guilty.  

"Shelly stop there is a reason as to why I can't let you go...I need you Shelly! Your the only thing keeping me alive! If you were to die then life would have no meaning! Call it selfish but I need you to stay with me."

I can clearly hear the pleading in his voice as he tells me all this. I turn my eyes towards the ground as I can't look at him without feeling ashamed with myself he feeling of guilt just keeps getting bigger and is starting to crush me...

".......why Jordan? Why? I'm nothing, why do you need me?" my voice sounds so small and weak.

He brings me closer to him so that our noses are touching and wraps his arm around my waist. His eyes are closed and he looks deep in thought. Suddenly he looks at me and brings me in for a kiss. I blink rapidly before responding to his kiss with an eagerness I never knew was there. Soon we pull apart for air. He leans over so that he rests his forehead against mine and says the ten words that would change my life for the better.

"Because Shelly, you're my best friend and I love you."

Well Hoped You enjoyed it, personally this is a dream I had a few days ago when I thought my life was taking a turn for the worst. Please tell me what you guys think :)

Song of Inspiration: The Great Hendowski by Of Mice & Men