I'm not Allowed to Love You

The Accidental Eavesdropping

"I can't tell him that, Blaise, he'd despise me!" A voice said indignantly. Harry recognized the voice almost instantly, and his stomach did less of a somesalt and more of a painful backflip. He didn't want to be noticed by Malfoy when he is so clearly unarmed and unable to defend himself. Harry thought of running from the tree, under which he sat, but they were too close and they would see it. He decided to wait it out and hope that Malfoy didn't walk to the other side of the large trunk.

"Well, it's just an option! You've been pining after him for so long that you should be open to suggestions!" A voice that was obviously Zabini says.

"Suggestions that won't get me hexed would be preferred, Blaise," Malfoy said testily.

"Well as all you've been able to do for the past few years is hex him, maybe you need a bit of it yourself," Zabini said grumpily.

"Well who do you fancy then? Maybe I can get ideas from that," Harry sat in shock. Malfoy... was gay? That didn't seem right. And Harry had been around him for years and he never saw him pining after anyone.

"Fine. Don't laugh though. Seamus Finnigan," Zabini's voice stated.

"But isn't he dating Thomas?"

"Well, they both act quite gay, but I've heard that Dean is dating Weasley," Zabini said dryly.

Harry was still trying to process what he was hearing. Malfoy was gay, Zabini was gay, the two people he'd shared a dormitory with for years seemed to be gay; it was beginning to seem that the only straight person he knew was himself.

"The girl? Youngest one?" Zabini apparently nodded to answer Malfoy's question.

"Well, I was talking to Pansy, and she told me she'd seen one of the Weasley copies kissing Lee Jordan after a date."

"Well, as is expected when you share a dorm for six years of your life. Shame they left last year, I rather liked their jokes," Draco sighed.

Harry was apparently out of the loop on the going ons at Hogwarts. How could the most distant house know of all this and not him? And Draco Malfoy liked jokes? The whole world seemed to no longer make sense.

"For years I was under the impression that Ronald and Potter were with each other, but it may just be extreme measures of loyalty." Zabini noted, and another blow seemed to hit Harry. Zabini had thought him and Ron were together? That wouldn't make sense, Harry knew he was straight....

"I believed that too, they always fought like an old married couple. But now I believe that the Weasley is heterosexual, he seems to have caught eyes for the Mudblood," Suddenly he heard Draco gasp, and was afraid he'd been found, but looked around to see that they were still on the other side of the tree, "Pardon my language, I always forget that we aren't in company."

Harry's numb brain had yet another thing to process? He was going to need a full day to recover from all of the shocks.

"Pardon my asking, but you've noticed all of these relationships dating back to first year and you never questioned your sexuality?" Zabini asked, sounding doubtful.

"Blaise, I am a Malfoy. When you are a Malfoy, you don't question what you have been told. I was told I am a heterosexual male who's father works for the Dark Lord. Who was I to question that?"

"Er, yourself?"

Draco sighed, "Never mind."

A silence followed, in which all three boys sat and wondered about things far beyond their control. Suddenly Draco let out an annoyed humph.

"Why does Potter have to be so cute?"

"Hermione! Hermione!" Harry yelled, running toward the library. Madam Pince glared at him and he quickly lowered his voice.

"Harry, what in the world are you doing here?" Hermione asked from a table piled with books.

"I've just heard the strangest thing, and I need your help."

Hermione sighed and closed her book, "Yes?"

"I've just heard Malfoy and Zabini talking about... things. They- they're gay!" Harry said, lowering his voice as he dropped into a chair.

"Yes, I know. What about it?" Herminone asked, already beginning to open her book again.

"They- Hermione do you understand me? They are gay!" Harry repeated, shocked by her lack of reaction.

"Yes, they are gay, Harry. What's so hard to fathom about it?"

"They think I'm gay too!"

"I think the correct term you're looking for is bisexual. And what's wrong with them thinking such?"

"I- well- I'm not gay!"

"You aren't?"

"Hermione!"

"What!? All I see is you looking at the map to see wherever Malfoy is, and you purposely trying to run into him in the hallways wherever you go! You only want to talk about him! Maybe I am wrong, but Parkinson and I both agree that you are obsessed!" Hermione said, exasperated.

"I- you've been talking to Parkinson?"

"What did I just say, Harry."

Harry was again stunned.

"But I'm not bi, Hermione!"

"Tell that to the whole school, then start acting like you actually hate Malfoy, then maybe I'll believe you."

"Oi! What are you doing in the library, Harry? I would expect as much from Hermione, but I didn't think you'd sink that low!" Ron had arrived.

"Harry, here, is learning more about himself, because he apparently can't do it alone."

"What's she going on about, Harry?" Ron asked him.

"I've just learned that every single person in this school thinks I'm gay," Harry responded, still shocked.

"They do? How come?"

"Honestly Ronald! Do you even pay attention to your best friend?"

"Well, I know he's obsessed with Malfoy but- wait.... Harry, do you have the hots for Malfoy?"

"What an incredible way to put it, Ron," Hermione said tiredly.

"Well, do you?" Ron asked again.

"I- I don't know," said Harry, realizing for the first time that he didn't know if he disliked Malfoy.

"All right, you two have officially angered me. I'm going to Parkinson, I didn't think you'd be this thick-headed, Harry," Hermione said, again exasperated, as she stormed off.

"What was that all about, mate?"

"Ron, do you think other people think we are together?"

Ron turned pale underneath his freckles, "Well, I- well, I mean-"

Ron's ears were turning more and more red.

"Thanks, Ron. That speaks loads. Oh, did you know one of the twins is- or was- dating Lee?"

"What? Fred and George?"

"Yeah. Also, apparently Dean and Seamus might be gay as well. Along with Zabini, Malfoy, and...," Harry trailed off, deciding against putting himself in that list.

"Do you think Hermione likes girls, too?" Ron asked, a little desperately.

The honest answer was yes, but Harry didn't need Ron and Hermione going at each other again.

"No, I think she'd like anyone who's nice to her."

"Oh. Do you think she likes me?"

"When's the last time you've been nice to her?"

Ron glowered.