I'm not Allowed to Love You

The Resisting of Temptation

Draco stayed away from Potter for a while after that. The Room of Requirement was now a second home for him, however it was much less so in his heart. He worked fruitlessly on fixing the Vanishing Cabinet, with little to no luck. He began to skip classes, meals, and sleep. Draco could not let his mother die on his account. But it seemed that there was no possible way that he could fix anything, the mission from the Dark Lord he was doomed to fail had taken over his mind, making him fall into deep despair. Potter was no help at all, as he seemed to keep popping up wherever Draco was, as if he was tracking him. Draco would snarl an insult with no real meaning, before hurrying off to somewhere more private.

This went on for ages. Draco became more desperate, and was thrown into deeper desperation every passing day. In vain, he sent for Madam Rosmerta to give a cursed necklace to the Headmaster, turning pale when he heard it had nearly killed a classmate of his. But as his fear grew, the more interest Potter seemed to show in him. In fact, Potter was everywhere. Draco was sure that he was being followed. One of the encounters happened minutes before a Quidditch match before Slytheirn and Gryffindor, which Draco had backed out of, by pretending to be sick. Draco had been walking down the quiet halls with Crabbe and Goyle disguised as some 5th year girls, when Potter turned the corner with a broomstick over his shoulder. They had both stopped dead, when Draco forced out a laugh with no humor behind it. The following conversation went something like this:

"What are you doing?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Yeah, I'm going to tell you because it's totally your business, Potter," Draco commented, with an eye roll that would make Blaise proud. Goyle giggled, then blushed when he realized what he had done.

"What are you doing with a couple of girlfriends, then?" Harry asked, perplexed, as Draco and the two girls pushed passed Harry.

"Why? Do you wish it was you?" Draco called over his shoulder, his heart secretly pounding against his rib cage.

There had been no response from Harry.

Draco desperately wanted to go to Slughorn's party, it would be a great time to tell Potter. When it was so loud and people were so drunk that no one would hear him as he whispered how much he had longed for Potter, how long he had fancied him, how often he had daydreamed about an alternate world where Potter liked him back. But he knew it would never happen, it couldn't happen. He couldn't like Potter, and telling him that would make it harder for both of them. Especially if Potter liked him back. Which he clearly didn't. Clearly.

"You downsize how attractive you are, Draco," Blaise noted, without looking up from his essay.

"Yeah, well you upsize your own attractiveness," Draco said defensively.

"You can't deny I'm gorgeous, Dray," Said Blaise with a devilish grin.

"You're cruel," Draco sniffed, but accepted defeat, and slumped into the couch. The stone wall that hid the common room evaporated as Pansy came in, dancing with stars in her eyes.

"She called me pretty! Pretty! Can you believe it?" Pansy sang in a voice full of joy.

"Oh Merlin! You're joking!" Blaise squealed in excitement, leaping up to dance around with her.

"I'm not! She said that my hair was pretty! Isn't she just so incredible!?" Pansy sighed, in awe. She sank into a chair, staring up through the glass ceiling into the Black Lake above. Blaise sat down as well, frowning at Draco, who hadn't moved at all.

"Draco, you need to get some sleep tonight. You can't go on this long without any sleep!" Blaise burst out, clearly worried.

"No, no. I'm fine," Draco forced out a laugh.

"Then take a break from that stupid mission! I can take you to Slughorn's party as my plus-one," Blaise offered desperately.

"No, no. I need to work. I'm close, I can feel it," Draco said, but cast around for a change of subject when Blaise gave him a skeptical look. "So, so, she called you hairy?" Draco paused, and thought for a second. "I mean pearry. No, pretty. I meant pretty."

"You really aren't helping your cause, Draco," Pansy noted conversationally, while she and Blaise dragged Draco up to his bed, where he instantly fell asleep. Pansy and Blaise went back downstairs.

"Think Goyles enjoying the female body," Pansy muttered.

"Will he make the transition, do you think?" Blaise asked, referring to the transition from a male body to a female body.

"Possibly."

A silence followed, which was broken by Blaise bursting into fits of laughter.

"I just realized how queer Slytheirn is!" He said between gasps of laughter, and quickly both of them were consumed in giggles that made them short of breath and their stomachs hurt.