Inner

Chapter 1

"You're 32 and you're still single. You need to settle down and have a family." Nicole stood in front of me in her kitchen ranting about how I need to finally have the kids I've always wanted and a wonderful husband. I had tuned her out after that sentence. I'm a good friend trust me but I've heard this lecture plenty of times by my parents, siblings, other friends, coworkers, and even local citizens I see often.

"Do you want me to help you find someon-" I had to cut her off right there.

"Where do you suppose my perfect match is? On a website? A cart bump at a grocery store and we 'accidentally' reach for the same thing? Or! Or I drop my glass slipper at 12 sharp and he finds me using my size 8? No, I didn't think so either."

I put my hands on my head and leaned on her kitchen counter top. Their was no response from Nicole for a while.

"Well excuse me. You ain't have to say all that." Nicole poured a glass of wine and set it in front of me.

"Nah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out like that. I'm just fed up with this settle down talk. Like I'm not saying I'm not trying but I gave up. Where in the living hell will I find my dream guy? Member I don't think love exist... for me that is." I took a big gulp of the wine.

"Take it easy." She rubbed her 6 month pregnant stomach. "Some day a miracle will happen." She smiled at that then patted my shoulder.

"What are you going to name her?" I nodded toward her belly.

Her smile didn't fade at all. "Neveah."

How I wish I could look so happy to have a child and say their name like that. To think about bringing a new life into this planet. I felt my heart ache a little at the thought. I could have kids if I wanted but I didn't want to have dead beat father's, failed marriages and we'd split up and have the kids hurting because of it. My life is like that with my parents and I don't ever want to bring a child into this world to endure the same pain I have had once. I just want a happy family that I would imagine in my dreams. The one I never had... I took another gulp and set the empty glass back on the counter top.

"Mooooooommmy!!" Nicole's 3-year-old son, Nicholas, came racing down the hallway. "Hewwo Ms. M", he spoke frantically. He quickly turned back to his mother and pulled at her shirt.

"Whaaaaat??" She slowly turned to face him.

"I broke my toy again." He handed her a blue toy truck without its wheels and doors.

"Where are the other parts?" I had to ask.

"Right here." He gives the wheels and doors to his mother.

Nicole sighed and took it from him.

Her husband, Jordan, walked in the front door.

"Daddy!" The boy ran to his father who scooped him up and gave him a hug.

"Lil man!!" He squeezed the little body against his and spun him.

"Hello Mr.Wilcox." I smiled.

"Hey, Pheonix." He leaned down and kissed, Nicole, with, Nicholas, still in his arms. I looked down at the floor.

"Ew!! That's nasty." Nicholas, covered his eyes.

I got up and flattened my dress down.

"Welp, time for me to go."

"Why you leaving?" She held my hand. I always hated when she'd ask me that.

"This is your family. Aren't you guys having dinner soon 'cause, Jordan's, here now?". This whole scenario was slapping me with big bold words: