Dear Anxiety.

Dear Anxiety, why do you always have to creep up on me just to stab me in the back? Constantly hindering over me without a string of doubt. All I want is to be able to form a sentence or simply start a conversation, but whenever I do you feel obliged hold out that bright red stop sign that clogs my throat, slowly suffocating me like a serpent tightly constricting itself around my neck and sends my heart racing, like dogs chasing after the postman on a sunday morning. My limbs trembling and sweat pouring out as the seconds melt away like icecream on a hot summer's day.

I don't get it.
I don't get it!

Why do you always have to be at the forefront of my mind? Twisting and swirling my thoughts around into a tornado of distraught, manipulating me as though I am a puppet at the twitching hands of a maniac. When are you going to set me free from these blood-forged shackles you have bound to my limbs? I don't understand why you keep me locked up in this solitary confinement.
Distancing me from others while I slowly gasp for air. Just because you make me feel unable to connect.

It's not fair.

But, nothing in life is fair and nothing was planned, we all have disorders. We are all different and we all need different things.

But the truth is, we can get through it. You hear it all the time I know. "Oh, you'll get over it." "Everything will be okay one day." But the truth is, it most likely won't. But, that doesn't stop us from carrying on does it? We managed to force ourselves to keep going just so that we could prove that we can do it. No matter how many times we tried to quit, we wanted to end it all. We kept going. We kept going! And this is all because of that little voice inside of our heads that told us. "You are beautiful." Who cares about what we look like, how we act, smell, sound, what gender we are, our age and our sexuality. Because we are all beautiful in our own ways, no matter what anyone says. If you keep going you're only going to prove them wrong and this shows everyone that you are truly wonderful.

I don't believe in strong minds. I believe in the gentle spark that constantly shines within us, slowly expanding everyday and eventually igniting into a roaring fire. A flurrying menace of pure destiny and this is what kept me going.

So fuck you Anxiety.

My flame only grows stronger by the minute.