I don't weight the same has the average girl ...I am not the light skin girl with curly hair and well done nails that can fit in any dress... Doesn't mean I am nobody , You don't just get mad and call me a "Fat bitvh " in front of your friends ...I though I was beautiful... I thought I was the right size ..You build my confidence just to break it , I think everyone always have something to say about me ...My mom see me she say "why your neck so black " I am pre-diabetic mom anything else ? I stress myself out with thoughts of self harm and because I am too pussy to cut deeper I sit and just eat because that will ease the pain ... I am sorry I am not good enough I am sorry I am such a fat fuck and all your friends think I am sooo bad I am so sorry that I can't satisfy you and I require for you to be patient and talk to me nice ...I am soooo sorry ... I am disgusting and I don't want to celebrate my birthday...I might over eat and forget how big I am ..."When you were doing what you were doing you were happy and wasn't complain". I wasn't because I didn't think I had anything to worry about it since I am not feeling the pain anymore ...I will eventually lose all this and maybe somebody will find me attractive enough to not break me down and make me feel so small and like I don't matter ...Maybe when I go in the fitting room and the dress I like don't fit ...my partner won't be busy telling me there is nobody to blame to why the dress can't fit ..instead they will tell me how beautiful I am and help me become the best me .. Maybe they will hug me and not make me feel weird about myself than I do and possibly understand me and not be up to kick me out their car because I feel some time of way ...Or tell me to leave their house and tell all their friends so they can laugh at me and look at me weird ...because I have nobody ..The selfishness I get thrown toward me isn't good and when I complain how I feel I get bashed for being " nagging " or "annoying " ...You will be so ready to leave somebody that's been nothing but good to you because you can't handle how you make them feel .....
