𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙪𝙧𝙜𝙚 - 𝙈𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙖 𝙋𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙗𝙞𝙤

IX

m: okay, in your opinion what's like a good ass show that's talks ab real shit
jaz: listen, real shit you got the key-
m: stop.
jaz: wonder where I got that from
she laughs

m: come on ! answer the question
jaz: 13 reasons why
m: how ?
jaz: it's jus a very raw show, talks about suicide, rape, being drugged, using drugs, real shit that goes on. you know ? like shit that doesn't get talked about
m: I get you, kinda agree
jaz: I mean clay loved Hannah... jus didn't say it in time. She let everything get to her and decided to take her life which no one should do. he's literally haunted by her presence and really misses her and wishes he could be normal.
she looks down

m: hey you okay ?
jaz: yeah jus kinda hard to talk ab
m: you can tell me anything, my lips will be sealed shut
he does the little zipper thing on his lips

jaz: i-
she starts to break down

m:hey
he gets up and hugs her

m: it's okay
jaz: I lost a friend to suicide..... and that's how I met Luis, they were meant for each other... like God sent them to be together. She took her life because of abuse, bullying, and she felt like a disgrace.... I told her everyday she wasn't and that I'm here and will always be to the day I die. I am, I support her family like their my parents. She was one of my own. She was pretty famous. had a song made ab her. after she broke up with one guy, the comments got the best of her.. She took it. We were supposed to hang out the next day and I was gonna read her a note that poured everything I couldn't say verbally... She was...
jazzy took a break and held back everything that was gonna come out.

jaz: she was my only friend before I met anyone. She saved me too.... but I couldn't save her.. I was too late, 1 hour late. I even tried to take my own life jus to be in her arms again. I really do miss her. It's like being with Luis gives me some kind of reassurance that she's with me. He was her everything and she was his everything. Now the only thing keeping us sane is each other. I jus wish I got to say goodbye one last time...

she looked up at the boy who was broken by the story.... his eyes red, tears falling down. She started to break down too, realising all the anger and sadness that's been bottled up for years.

mattia's pov

I hate that jaz had to go thro that much pain. I can't even imagine what I'd do if I lost my boys..... especially kairi, yeah I'm close with all of them but me and him are tight. She basically lost her kairi.... and the only thing keeping her here are Luis, mimi and nate. The only thing keeping her fine and stable is Luis... maybe I shouldn't interfere. but he did say that their jus really close. i mean she's the best thing that's happened this year to me, and to know that she had to go thro this jus broke me.

jaz: tia ?
m: yeah ?
jaz: please don't think of me differently...
she said softly

fuck I forgot she almost took her own life... but all she wanted was to be in her arms again. comforted. loved. in her presence. I mean i would too if I was in the situation. but what made her stop ?

m: jaz?
jaz: yes
m: what made you stop
jaz: from ending it all ?
m: mhm
jaz: ...

flashback

jaz: here we go

there I was.... about to end everything... the easiest way. The Fall. On top of what seemed like the world was only 21 flights high. Listen Before I Go blasting in my airpods. I sent it to all my contacts... which was sadly only a few... I walk to the edge lookin down at the ongoing traffic in New Jersey. I hear a voice... sounding like hers, telling me not to. I look and see no one. but the whispers still coming. I look back and see Luis.. eyes bloodshot red, he was crying.