𝑀𝑎𝑥
(𝑇𝑤𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟) 𝑇𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑑𝑎𝑦 8𝑡ℎ, 6:54
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"And that's all I have to say." Spoke my aunt as she got off of the stage. It was the day of Jacobe's funeral, and I could not stop crying. My pride and Joy left this earth, I just did not know what to do with myself.
"Now there will be a few words from the northern of Jacobe." Said the pastor, I walked up to the front of the church.
"Imma make this quick Jacobe wouldn't want me to stand here and talk his ears off.."
"The day they told me Jacobe passed away was one of the most hardest days of my life, and for weeks on end I cried and cried. I didn't have my child anymore, and I just could not take it in that he was no longer here with me...Jacobe was such a wonderful boy.. he loves people so much so so much...he put others people happiness before his almost all the time. He cared for each and everybody, he was my angle and now he's back in Heaven....before I get caught up my baby is home and I will always love and miss him, thank you." I said walking back to my seat with Anthony and my aunt on both sides of me. Kelvin was as no where to be found, he was here earlier but he left before it could start. He grieved with me for a little, then he left.
Just another reason why I'm not with him, as the reception was still going on I zoned out. I knew this day would come, I just never thought it would be so soon. Today was a very sad day for us all, but at least I have my family to help me through this.
"Ladies and gentleman, there is food in the back so please follow the ushers. Thank you, and please let's stay respectful." Said the pastor as the rest of the people got up and left to the back of the church. I told Anthony and the rest to go ahead without me, and I just sat in the the front of the church and looked at my son.
I rubbed on his beautiful face, my poor baby boy. I started to cry again, how do people deal with so much pain? I feel like I'm barely making it, Jacobe would not want to see me cry like this so I wiped my tears.
"Look at big man."
I turned around and there stood Kelvin, I huffed and turned back around. "Where were you? Why are you just now showing up."
"I didn't want to see him like this, and I didn't even leave the church I stayed outside."
"It would of been nice to have the man that's been in my son's life for the longest to sit next to me and comfort me.."
"I know and I'm sorry Max, I just-...I-."
"Don't stress yourself." I said as I walked away, he sighed and just followed behind me.
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As I watched them slowly lower my son into the ground, I fell down on my knees and cried some more. "My ba..my baby-..my little boy..." I sobbed, why would he take my joy away from me? Kelvin fell down by my side and held me. He rocked me back and forth as they covered his grave, I couldn't take anymore and soon got sick to my stomach.
I ran to the bushes and threw up, Anthony was behind me as he held onto my hair. I finished then went to go sit in my car, I asked Anthony to go get me some water and he left.
As I sat down I heard giggling like a little child was running around and playing. I looked and couldn't find a child, I just shook it off and laid my head back on the seat. "Mommy?...Mommy I'm right here!!" Giggles the voice. I searched all around until my eyes laid on my child, I tried to catch a breath.
"Jacobe?" I choked on my words, I heard foot steps come my way and looked away. When I turned back to Jacobe he was gone, I looked but he was no where to be found. "Jacobe?...JACOBE BABY!?!" I said as I rose out of my car seat, I was pushed back into my seat by Kelvin. "Here's your water, you need to rest." He said as he placed the cup in my hand, I shook my head.
"Kelvin he was jus right here...you didn't see him?"
"See who Max?"
"Don't play stupid Kelvin, Jacobe? He was just right there. Then in the blink of any eye he was gone, where did he go?"
"Max it's time to go home, come on." He said as he turned me and placed my seat belt on. He grabbed my keys off the dash board and got in the car after he yelled some words to my family. I sat in the car and sipped on my water, my sweet boy...Gone? Couldn't be, as much as I wanted this to be a dream, as much as I wished for this to be my horrible fantasy, it was reality. Clearly the worst day of my life.
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10:55𝑝.𝑚.
"Max, come on and lay down."
"Kelvin I don't want to rest, I can't rest! How could I??"
"I understand Max, I really do but today has been a very long day for you. You need to rest, it is really late."
"Oh I'm sorry, my son just died so excuse me for not being able to sleep."
"...Max..I'm just trying to help."
I stayed silent, I know he was trying to help, but I just was not in the mood for him at the moment.
"I know...just please try to understand what I'm going through."
"I do, look let's just lay down and watch a movie. I'll be right back I just need to get some blankets." He said as he disappeared up the stairs. I nodded my head and walked to the kitchen, I opened the frigid to get me some food and heard laughing from the living room, the same giggle from the church. I closed the frigid and slowly walked towards the Kitchen door. The laughing rang again and I slowly pushed the door open.
I looked to see Jacobe sitting down laughing at the tv, I didn't know how to react. The tears overflowed.
He looked at me and giggled, he kicked his feet on the edge of the couch. "Mommy What are you doing? Come sit next to me." He said as he patted the cushion, I looked and slowly walked over towards him. "Jocabe baby?...how?-..where?-...why?"
"You ask a lot of questions mommy." He giggled.
I touched his cheek and my heart melted that I could feel him, my smile spreaded across my face. "My baby." I said as I hugged him tight. "Mommy stop crying, I'm okay. I'm healed mommy, I'm going home." He smiled.
I continued to let my tears fall, "I know my sweet boy, I'm just not ready to say goodbye. It's too soon..."
"Mommy, it's okay I will always be here. Sometimes you'll see me and others you'll feel me." He smiled as he whipped away my tears.
"Are you ready to say goodbye? It's almost time for me to go mommy." He laughed, I creased his cheeks and took a final look at my baby boy. "Yes, I'm ready to say goodbye. Just not ready to let go."
"Jacobe I will always love you baby, please remember that." I said full blown sobbing right now. "I will always remember mommy, see you later. And I love you so much more." He said as he rose to his feet, he started to walk off and I stood up getting ready to follow after him. He held his hand up to me and I stopped, he laughed.
"I'm going home mommy..." he laughed and he continued to walk away, his giggles rang threw my ears and he had finally disappeared. I fell to my knees and cried, I heard Kelvin running down to come comfort me. "Max?..Max are you okay?"
"I saw him Kelvin." I smiled
"What do you mean?"
"He visited me, before he went home." I cried, and he just held onto me and I rested my head on his shoulder. Jacobe appeared again and he mouthed '𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢' and I mouthed it back and he looked up and disappeared and I rested my head on Kelvin's shoulder.
