always

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I was asleep in my dream land having the same dream I have had since I was 7.

A younger version of me ran around the house with my long red hair flying behind me. Red was always my mother's favorite color . ( and was my natural hair color before it became to much of a bad reminder of a bad memory)
" mama , mama look at me . I'm flying!" I said running and jumping into a huge pile of leaves that was lying on the ground.
"Haha, I see my little doll"  my mother replied with her smooth as butter voice, buy something seemed off , she seemed off. As if there was something sad on her mind
     I emerged to the ocean of autumn leaves that I was swimming in. "When's daddy coming home mama, I wanna show him the leaf angels I made!" I said trying to cheer my mother up from whatever sad state she was in.
     She didn't reply.  She stood up fixed her dress and walked toward me. Once she was over towering me she bent down to meet my height and kissed my forehead. She walked into the house without a word. The rest of the day was spent quietly , eating and sleeping.

  That night I woke up at 12:00 and attempted to cry myself to sleep but it didn't work , I ended up crying quietly the entire night trying not to wake anyone up , even though it was only me in my lonely castle.

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