Life of A outcast

Becoming chapter One |

It's Friday it's my little cousins birthday and all the family is going to the party I arrived at the party I go with my cousins to the bounce house where all the kids are .switching my hips unknowingly just bumping threw like i do not worrying about anybody just going with the flow as I get to the bounce house I hear this hood rat say aww man why you got this fag at your party son ? and all my cousin did was shake his head and laugh . I let it go and tried to continue to enjoy myself but it was hard because I wanted to fight I just couldn't let it go so I ran up on the boy hands rolling tears in my eyes screaming out at him " I GOT YOUR FAG" the older people had to break it up after they dragged me from off him I went into our car and broke down uncontrollably in the back seat I was ready to go home what a Saturday right. Fast forward to Monday I hear the Alarm clock ringing .I begin to cry I don't want to go to school today .mamma begins to rub  my back saying come on baby it's time for school I cry and cry she still consoles me she said you have to go to school I'll drop you off so you can get a little more rest so I shook my head okay but that sort amount of time passed by so quick before I knew it  I was on my way to school anyways I get to the school house my mama checks me in and I'm off to class not feeling my best as it is soon as I get to the room it's this boy named Justin he's sitting in the only available chair left I roll my eyes just my luck he always has something negative to say about me . Justin bursts out ewww I don't want him sitting next to me pointing his pencil in my face the hole class begins to laugh . The teacher has to gain back control and I sit back and look at my hands holding back tears in my eyes I don't know what was so funny or nasty about me siting next to him . Justin blurts out again why you have a pink pencil easer you really want to be a girl huh ? I get up and storm out the class room balling . my teacher yells at me and says who do you  think You are leaving the class room without permission as she said it I slam the door behind me I run to the the bathroom crying uncontrollably looking in the bathroom mirror as I began to clam down here comes my teacher pulling me by my arm back to the class room without even asking me what's going on she flipped my card and the class beings to laugh aging because I never got my card flipped. This accident  made me not trust this teacher at all so I stopped talking in her class I stopped listening to what was going on around me as the days pass from Monday to Friday I was just there in my own world when I looked aging I was being asked to have my mama sign a note for a conference with the teacher saying that I had failed my grade and that I would have to repeat and go to summer school . This was another blow now I'm the talk of the family yet again but my parents never treated me any worse my ass just didn't get the new games that I wanted and rightfully so I had let myself go I didn't want to go outside anymore I didn't want to play with my fake ass cousins or socialize with them hoz at my school I just wanted to be in the house alone with the people who truly loved me. But that wasn't going to be a option because this summer my ass was going to summer school 🤦🏾‍♂️.

No time for day dreaming  it was time the bus rolled up and I was on my way to my local high school as I sit to myself facing the window A girl named Jazz turns around in her seat and introduced herself to me she was like hey I'm jazz smirking and before I could even replay this bitch said your in my seat don't let it happen again and turns back around I didn't say a word I just counted to look outside the window. Felling some type of way already and I hadn't even got to the school yet and I was already dealing with some bull that wasn't even    warranted from some random individual.  As I continue to just mind my business a boy behind me leans over the seat and tells me don't worry about them if you have any problems with anybody messing with you just let me know and I'll be there the boy winks at me and slides back in his seat at this point I'm feeling all cute inside because this Boy was so cute to me his name was kelly I hadn't had anybody to say they would protect me outside of my parents so this made me feel at ease and that I could trust him ,silly right but anyways as I'm walking to my class kelly holds open the door for me and he offered to help hold my books I was feeling so cute I was falling for this boy we counted this little friendly encounter for years and In my mind that was my man he was always right there if someone tired to play with me he was my gay knight and shining armor the only problem was I didn't know if he was gay or not so I went years crushing on this boy and then I finally found out the answer this last summer.☕️