On a snowy night in New Jersey, there was a bear. This bear was white so no one could see him in the snow. Unfortunately for Disgruntled Uncle Vernon, he could see him, and vise versa. The bear was coming to get him, so he ran. He ran and ran until he got all the way to... Uh, Florida. In Florida they were experiencing a rain storm, creating potholes and sinkholes everywhere. Now, he was running and running from the bear who had given up long ago, he was running disgruntledly. All of a sudden the ground beneath the him started to sink, he had fallen into a sink hole. He fell down to the deep depths of the earth, it was beginning to get very hot. Um,melt me see. Kronos came back to life and ate his children... Over again. Uncle Vernon then decided he wanted some chocolate, "I would like some chocolate," he said his double chin bouncing to and fro. He began the long climb back up the surface of the earth. Shhdisjsndksskw DEHELL. Once there, he collapsed on the ground in a disgruntled heap. "HARRY BRING ME BACON!" He yelled, but Harry was no where to be found. Turning around he was face to face with a gigantic walrusicorn. Uncle Vernon screamed "AUGAHAUDHSHA HALP PETUNIA SAVE ME" His chin was going BLUERGSG now in all of its disgruntled beauty. He pulled out a shotgun and shot the walruscorn! "Bangy bang" He whispered as the walruscorn faded to the dwelling of Hades. Uncle Vernon was at a loss, he didnt understand where he was, or how far hed run. He stroked his mustache thoughtfully, 'red skies' he thought 'and a handy-me-down sidewalk, you must be a Florida' "OH MY CHEESE IM IN FLORIDA DISGRUNTLE MANY VERNON AUGHAUShs WHAT DO I DO???" Uncle Vernon reached into his pocket and pulled out a cookie, which he proceeded to shove down his throat. He began to think out loud, "What would the Dants do" "Me." A voice replied from the dark. "AUAGHASYS!" Vernon screamed "Don't do that! Who are you? What do you want? Do you have guns? More importantly, do you have bacon" "Slow down there on the questions gruntle gruntle. I'm The Old Man Licker Of Ratchetness, ya can call me Rae or RaeRae or RaeRaePoo, whateva' floats ya goat. As for what I want, that is a damn deep question and I am glad you asked. Food. I want food. And....DD. I do as a matter of fact have guns why this right here," RaeRae pulled out a bazooka, "Is what I use wheneva' my husbands cheat. Bacon. Oh bacon. How I long for ya. For ya sweet succulent beauty. But alas I already ate it." By this point Vernons face was red with rage for two things.
1. RaeRae had called him gruntled
2. RaeRae ate the bacon
He flew up into the sky screaming "THIS IS MY SWAMP!!!" Uncle Vernon was so fueled by anger, he flew right back to New Jersey, forgetting about RaeRae who was, without a doubt, already banging the Dants.
