I'm Sorry For Drunkly Kissing you- Oneshots but mostly DreamNap[DISCONTINUED]

The last letter - OC angst

Gabriel is a 16 year old boy who loves writing, who writes all the time, writes his feelings, his ideas, the reasons he feels a certain way, stories, scenarios he wants to go through, everything. When he was 13 he started writing letters to his parents, not that they were far away from each-other but that was when they stopped caring, when they started being more abusive, when they told him he was a disappointment more than ever. They talked but never had discussions, never communicated...
He was depressed, he was done, he wanted to die, why deal with depression, anxiety, CPTSD, eating disorders when you could just... end it all..? Thats what he thought, he had things to live for, he lived for his friends, for the people that cared about him... for people like Diego, his best friend, one of the few things that made him happy.

20th of June 2020, he went outside with his good friend, Diego, and stayed for many many hours, his mother called him a lot but his phone didnt ring... when he finally got to his house he got welcomed by a cold"We are taking your phone, laptop and permission to go outside young man. Go to your room. You are not getting food tonight." from his mother.

His heart broke as he quietly went to his room and started crying silently as he changed into pajamas. He took out the last piece of paper he had.. He only had one piece of paper, only one envelope left, only one. He started writing the last letter, the last one before he drowned...

"
Hello Daniela and Lucian,

I am really sorry for everything.. I am sorry I did not hear my phone, I am sorry I am not perfect,I am sorry I am not good enough, I am sorry I am not making you proud, I am sorry for
embarrassing your name with my existence, I am sorry for making you be like this, I am sorry
I am going to do the same mistakes my sisters did.. I, at the moment of writing this, am 3 months, 15 days and 32 minutes clean of suicide attempts, I hope that makes you happy and proud. I am not as weak as everyone thinks.. thank you for raising me. Thank you for
making me be the way I am, thank you. Thank you for everything.

At this point.. I imagined death so much it seems more like a memory... I know where it will be
but if I stop trying, is this how you'll remember me ? An idle disappointment, an embarrassment? I dont mind it considering you always told me that.. I did anything I could to make you proud, I love you.

-Much love, your soon to be dead son
𝓖𝓪𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓵

"

He put the last letter in the last envelope and carefully wrote "𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇" on it, placing it in the box where all the others were, the next day to prepare them for his parents to read.

That was the last thing he did before going to sleep, he got all the things he loved taken away from him, the reasons he could keep going. 

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523 words

I know this is depressing but i needed to write it. This was very relaxing- might fuck around and write while sad again sometimes.

Anyways, Have a nice day or night or noon or whatever time it might be for you <3 
Love you lots <3

Take care, stay safe, stay cute, eat healthy, hydrate, remember that you're beautiful and valid no matter what and remember I love you <3