My Mate's Touch

Chapter 33 - Xander

I was fucking losing my mind. What kind of sick fuck was the moon goddess for pairing me with Elias, who was an outsider and a goddamned human? I sighed, knowing that I was overly stressed out. I needed to focus on the girl on her knees who was sucking the life out of me.

Basically, in my extreme shock and disdain, I impulsively took a girl back to my room and had her suck me off. What could I say? It was a distraction, a temporary escape from my problems. Usually it was, anyway.

I slowly pushed the girl's head further onto my dick in a futile attempt to feel more, but I was completely numb to her efforts. Usually, a blowjob of her caliber would have me facefucking her and not thinking of anything else in the room, much less anything outside of that. But as she moved her head back and forth on my length, the image of me grabbing Elias' wrist back at the training grounds kept replaying in my mind like a fucking broken record.

I sat on my bed, not feeling any of the pleasure she was trying to give me. In my desperation, I tried to block out what was going on in my brain. I looked down at her bobbing her head on my dick and saw Elias instead. What the fucking hell? I would have jumped, but when I blinked the image of him disappeared completely when it had just been so clear less than a moment before.

At this, I knew that my dick appointment wasn't going to get any better. In hidden embarrassment, I gently pushed her away from me, her expression laced with surprise since I hadn't cummed yet. She got the message that I wasn't feeling it and I watched her walk out of my door, disappointment on her face.

"Fuck," I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

She walked out of my room as if she was the one who fucking did something wrong, but I couldn't say shit about the truth. How the hell was I supposed to relieve my stress now? The fucking mate bond made it pretty much impossible to feel pleasure from anyone; well, anyone except for fucking Elias probably. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if I couldn't even get a fucking hard-on soon.

I jacked myself off until I eventually came, zipped my pants back up and then walked down to Felix's office. I opened the door abruptly but he barely batted an eye. I couldn't tell if it was because he was completely invested in his work or because he was used to me barging in, though it was probably an even mix of both.

"Hey, Xander," Felix said, his eyes completely trained on his computer. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I lied, slumping on a chair in his office and looking uninterestedly at his bookshelf.

Felix stopped typing and looked over at me, pursing his lips in an observing but amused way. "I'm almost at a stopping point. Just stay here for a minute and then you can tell me what's wrong."

"Ok," I responded flatly, resting my head on the palm of my hand and lifting it when I registered what he'd just said. "Wait a damn minute, how the hell did you know something was wrong?"

He chuckled and adjusted his reading glasses ever so slightly. "I didn't, but I do now."

"Oh, fuck off," I spat.

"In all seriousness, when something's wrong, it isn't hard to tell. You'll stomp in here with your face more broody than usual and you'll be more quiet, like you want me to notice on my own that you're having a bad day."

I clicked my tongue. Now I just sounded like a fucking child! It is true, though; I'd never open up unless someone asked, and even then it was iffy. Luckily, as much as he could piss me off sometimes, Felix was my go-to for almost anything. I gulped, realizing the weight of what I was about to tell him, though. It would probably be as much of a shock to him as it was to me that I'd found my mate. The only difference is that Felix would probably be happy about it while it made me distraught.

After a moment, Felix took his glasses off and stretched his arms, signaling me that he was done with his work. I stood up from the chair I was sitting in and walked towards his door, earning myself a questioning look.

"To your room," I said, tilting my head.

Felix's eyes widened and he got up, quickly following me out of his office. He knew that when we talked in his room, shit was serious or deep. I didn't know why our conversations always got so personal in his room; maybe it was because it was a more comfortable environment compared to his office or something. Regardless, I found myself wanting to break the news to him there, where it felt more private and comfortable.

We walked in and both plopped on his bed, me falling back a bit and him sitting straight up. "What's wrong?"

I moved my arm from my face and looked up at him. "Relax, you don't have to sound so fucking serious."

Felix maintained the stoic, slightly concerned expression that was plastered onto his face. I scoffed. It pissed me off when he did that, like he was seeing right through my bullshit. He fucking was, and I knew I couldn't keep stalling.

I sat up and started talking. "Fine. I, um, fuck... I don't even know how to fucking say this. I'm still trying to process it myself."

Felix furrowed his brows. "I haven't seen you like this in a while, Xander. I don't want to pressure you to talk, but I also don't want you to keep this in. I know you do that when it's serious."

As much as he sounded like a fucking parent right now, he was right. This was serious. I didn't know when I would find my mate, but I didn't expect any of this to come so suddenly. I sighed and looked down, trying to hide from his gaze.

"I... I found my mate, yesterday," I admitted quietly.

"What?"

"You fucking heard me."

"Are you fucking serious?" Felix readjusted himself on the bed, his eyes widening in excitement. "Xander, this is great! I know you didn't want to find your mate, but... Wow, I didn't think this would come for a while."

I scoffed as he shook my shoulders. "Me neither."

"Who is it?"

I looked back at him for a moment and then averted my gaze again. "That pipsqueak," I muttered inaudibly.

Felix tilted his head, but before he could ask what I'd said, I snapped in irritation. "It's fucking Elias!"

Felix's smile gradually faded and he eyed me with growing concern. "Oh."

He knew how much I hated humans, no matter what they looked like or what their personalities were like. I couldn't even imagine the pity he probably felt for me after learning about this twisted turn of events. After a moment of sitting in silence, Felix spoke up again.

"Um, does Elias know?"

"No," I said, creasing my brow. "He doesn't. At the training grounds, I was talking to him and grabbed his wrist... I felt it instantly, but he just walked away like nothing happened."

Felix's expression contorted into one of thought. "Hm, I guess humans don't feel the bond as strongly," He said. "But when he does feel it, Xander, it'll only get better from there."

"I don't fucking want him to feel it," I responded, gritting my teeth. "I don't want him to be my mate. I..."

Felix frowned at me. "Xander, don't say what I think you're going to."

I said it anyway, my mind made up. "I'm going to reject him."

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Xander tells Felix about finding out he's mates with Elias. Angst ensues. On a different note, fun party game: take a shot every time Xander says the f word! If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a vote and comment what you thought! - D ♡