Snape's Sorrow

Chapter 1

"Avada Kadavra" Snape said as he cast the killing curse and watched Dumbledore fall to his death. What had he done? Sure, Dumbledore had asked him to do it; but he knew that he had the power to stop himself. To spare Dumbledore's life. To die in Dumbledore's place, like he deserved. But no, he couldn't even do that. Bellatrix was right, he was a coward; and he hated himself for it.

            Bellatrix and the other death eaters cheered and clapped in victory; hanging over the rails and howling like they were a bunch of wolves. Snape just sneaked out of the room in defeat, hoping not to be noticed.  He kept repeating the same question in his head: What had he done?

            Snape walked in silence out to the courtyard. He looked down at a puddle that caste his reflection, his long black hair swaying in the wind, and looked away in sheer disgust. He walked right through the puddle, not caring that he got wet. Just like Snape had betrayed Lily; Snape had betrayed Dumbledore as well.

            "Snape!" Bellatrix called out, "Where do you think you're going!" Snape quickly collected himself and turned to address Bellatrix.

            "Why nowhere Bellatrix. I was just thinking how it's finally over. How Dumbledore is finally dead. Just like the Dark Lord foretold. And who doubted the Dark Lord's judgment?" Snape said, in a know-it-all tone.

            Bellatrix rolled her eyes, ignoring Snape's former comment, "Voldemort is on his way. You better hurry inside. You know he doesn't like it when people make him wait"

            Snape walked past her and into Hogwarts. Voldemort was on his way. Would he try to find Harry, or would his selfish pride get in the way? Either way Harry was in danger. Snape remembered his promise to Lily. His promise to keep Harry safe.

            "Snape! Snape how could you! He trusted you!" Harry cried from behind him. Snape turned around in pure anger. He didn't need some arrogant child to remind him of what he had done.

            "Petrificus Totalis!" Harry yelled. Snape simply blocked it.

            "Fight back!" Harry yelled even louder, moving closer.

            "Spectrum Senpa!" Harry said, trying again. Snape blocked it again, sending Harry to the ground.

            "How dare you use my own spells against me? You insignificant little child." Snape said as he kicked Harry's want out of his reach. Snape turned around and continued inside, leaving Harry lying on the ground. Once inside, Snape looked over his shoulder. Harry had run off.

            "It's about time you came." Luscious said as Snape entered the Main Hall. Snape just sneered and took his seat to the right of where Voldemort would sit. A couple of minutes later and Lord Voldemort himself entered the room.

            "My friends." He said as he took his seat, "We've finally done it. We've killed Dumbledore!" Snape mentally rolled his eyes a Voldemort continued on, "And which one of you doubted my judgment?" Voldemort stood up and examined each and every face in the room.  Bellatrix sunk lower in her chair.

            "Bellatrix, my dear, it was you wasn't it?" Voldemort said, his eyes narrowing.

            "I-I didn't mean to! I let-t my own judgment get-t in the way!" Bellatrix stammered, looking as if she had just seen a ghost.

            "Now what do you think? Do you still think the Dark Lord cannot make good judgments?" He said, stepping closer to Bellatrix. Snape just watched, blank-faced as Bellatrix tried to struggle out of the mess that she had created.

            "No! No, of course not my lord! You made a very good judgment! Like you said you did! Dumbledore is dead by Snape's wand! Just like you foretold!" Bellatrix was shaking in fear now; tears were welling up in her eyes. Oh, how Snape wanted Bellatrix to hurt as badly as he did. Most of all, he wanted to see her in pain; like he imagined Dumbledore had been. But he wanted Voldemort to hurt ten times more than Bellatrix. For, in his book, Voldemort had done a greater crime than she did. Voldemort had killed Lily, but no thanks to him.

            "Yes, but you did doubt me. Did you not?" Voldemort snapped, making Snape more aware to his surroundings.

            "Yes! Yes!" Bellatrix cried, "But I assure you my lord that I shall never doubt you again!"

            "Ah, but you see. Once one person starts to doubt me; more and more people will. We can't have that, now can we?" Voldemort said, standing right in front of Bellatrix. Snape glared at Bellatrix, hoping she would notice the hate on his face.

            "What are you going to do to me?" she asked; the fear clear in her voice.

            "I'm going to teach you a lesson. A lesson you will never forget." Voldemort said, a wicked grin growing on his face.

            "Crucio!" Voldemort said, casting the Cruiatus curse. The room filled with the cry of pure pain coming from Bellatrix. Everybody watched with wide eyes as she fell on the floor and continued to scream in pain. Snape was glad that she had gotten what she deserved. After what seemed like fifteen minutes, Voldemort lowered his wand.  Bellatrix slowly and painfully got up from where she laid on the tiled floor. Her face was tear-stained and she had bruises all over her body. Her hair looked like it had been hit by lightning and her make-up was running down her face. Snape stared at the table top.

            "Have you learned your lesson, Bellatrix, my dear?" Voldemort asked, returning to his chair but not sitting down.

            "Yes, my lord." She whispered; her voice all raspy.

            Voldemort turned to face the rest of the death eaters, who were staring wide-eyed at Voldemort.

            "Does anybody else doubt my judgment?" He asked, looking around the room. Everyone shook their heads. "Good."

            Voldemort sat back down and turned to Snape, "You shall be the new headmaster of Hogwarts" Snape didn't show any emotion of disappointment. He simply nodded his head. Snape felt like he didn't deserve anything. He was living a lie. He shouldn't be headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore should have still been. But because of what Snape had done, Dumbledore never would be again. It was Lily all over again. Except Snape had lost his friend instead of his true love. A tear nearly fell from his face, but Snape held his sadness inside. He couldn't let Voldemort see him cry, otherwise Dumbledore's plan was foiled and he died for nothing. Snape imagined Lily's face in his mind. Her green eyes, her red hair, and her smile that warmed his heart every time he thought about it. As fast as the image of Lily had appeared, it disappeared, leaving Snape feeling empty inside once more. Voldemort was still talking, only this time about his plan to capture Harry Potter. So, Voldemort did know that Harry was no longer on school grounds. Amazing.

            Voldemort then excused himself to his chambers (Dumbledore's office) and the death eaters left the meeting. Snape was the last to leave, along with Bellatrix.

            Snape returned to his room and pulled out a picture of Lily. Hatred for himself, and his love for lily, built up inside of him. How could he have betrayed the love of his life?  He was a pathetic coward. If he had never told Voldemort about the prophecy, Lily would still be alive. He would still be able to see Lily's warm smile and hear her sweet voice. It was his entire fault that she was dead. Now he watched over her son because he wanted to prove to himself, to prove to Lily, that there was some good in him. To make amends. But who was he kidding? There was no good in him! He killed the love of his life and Dumbledore! Snape went over to his window and started to think about the upcoming events and if he could withstand them.

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Hey guys! I hoped you liked it! This is only the first part, and I'm currently working on the second so stay tuned :)