how do i get over you

i wanna see some ass

Sweat was dripping down his forehead as he jogged through the park. It was early. The green grass was still damp from the fog and the birds were just waking up, chirping happily. There were some other people in the park besides him, and just like him, all of them were running.

The park looked peaceful and terrifying at the same time. The fog was still floating above the ground and besides the birds chirping, it was unsettlingly quiet.

He stopped running for a second, completely out of breath. He bent forward, his hands resting on his knees and his head faced towards the ground. It had only been a week since his previous morning run and his stamina had already gone drastically down.

Music was booming, maybe a bit too loud, through his headphones. Rae Sremmund was playing.

This could be us

He stood up straighter, closing his eyes. While this action had been to get his breath back, he couldn't help his mind from thinking about George. Without even trying to stop it anymore, his mind started playing a scene in front of him.

'This could be us' was playing loudly on the speakers, almost breaking their eardrums. Both of them were singing loudly, jumping more up and down than dancing. Sweaty body's surrounded them, slowly pushing them more and more towards the other. While he was completely aware of the fact that George was in his personal space, the shorter boy didn't seem to give a fuck at all. Something about that made Dream weirdly hot inside. Green and purple lights kept flashing over his face, enhancing his beauty even more. Before he knew, the British man stood directly in front of him, their chests rubbing against each other as they moved. George looked up, his big brown eyes clear in the dark room.

Tingly feelings started moving down his body and Dream gasped, going back to where he really was: Alone in the cold park.

The imagine of George looking up at him, purple and green sometimes flashing over his face, haunted him.

He practically threw his phone on the couch when he got home, making a beeline towards the bathroom. He needed a cold shower, now.

When the water finally hit his body, he let out a sigh of relief, not even flinching. He had never felt such a- a- rush. He only saw George's face in his mind, his big brown eyes, and he felt warm all over, his mind overheating.

He washed his hair, closing his eyes as he massaged his head, wishing it was George- stop.

He opened his eyes. It was one thing to have a stupid crush, but it was just creepy thinking about his straight best friend washing his hair in the shower. With his heart beating fast in his chest, he tried to steer his minds somewhere else, preferably something that wasn't George.

Like Sapnap, for instance. Guilt washed over him as he realized that he was litterally flying George to meet him, yet hadn't even made plans yet to get Sapnap here too. They had promised each other that their first meeting was going to be with the three of them. Otherwise he would've gone to see Sapnap way earlier. 

He felt really bad. Faster than lightning mcqueen, he finished his shower, drying himself off. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he noticed his eyes were greener? No, his eye color definitely hadn't become brighter, that was just nonsense, but there was something different. Something had changed and even he noticed.

With his brows furrowed down, he leaned forward towards the foggy mirror, his eyes fixated on his own. It was like they were actually more sparkly? 

Wow, that even sounded stupid for him.

But he remembered that look somewhere. He definitely did. It had been a while, like quite a while, but he recall the memory like it was yesterday. He gasped sharply as the terrifying realization dawned on him what this look exactly meant, what this so called 'change' in his eyes actually was.

For a split second he saw his younger self looking back at him, those same green eyes staring, the same sparkle in them, the same plain confusion.

And as George's face waltzed back into his mind, he felt his heart sink.

It was one thing to have a crush on your best friend, another to think about him washing your hair, but it was just crossing a line to be completely head over heels in love with him. 

His breath hitched in his throat as he grabbed the sink, trying to keep his balance.  He saw the tears pooling into his eyes, his hands squeezing the marble as hard as he could.

To say he had fucked up bad, was a big understatement. He wasn't in control, not even in the slightest. Honestly, he had never been so not in control of a situation. His breathing became irregular as his heart was trying to win a marathon. It felt like he was going to explode, but not in a good way.

A single tear rolled over his cheek and his eyes immediately flew towards it, forgetting the sparkle love-struck look he still had. 

It has been a matter of time, he thought to himself, before I would cry over George.

He almost let go, he was almost ready to let himself be free. But not just yet. 'Cause crying was going to mean accepting that he was not in control and he wasn't ready for that. He just wasn't. He decided right then and there that it was going to be entirely his call when he was going to cry over George. And spoiler alert, that was going to be never.

He wasn't going to cry over his straight best friend. That was stupid and dumb and he wasn't stupid and dumb. He was smart and he still had some control left. 

He let his hands relax, his breath slowly turning back to normal. See, he could do this. He was a strong independent man who was in control.

"I am in control," he told his reflection stern. "just get into a better mood."

It was worryingly fast how the fake smile was plastered on his face. He quickly put on some pants, not even bothering to grab a shirt. While walking to his set-up he was already connecting his Spotify to the speakers.

I wanna see some ass by Jack Harlow was the first song to play. The fake smile started to turn real as he just started moving. There was no one there, why should he even be worried that he would embarrass himself? He had no space in his agenda for embarrassment.

Only for loud off-tune singing and twerking badly on his bed. 

Whoever was up there, was definitely looking away. While he blasted the words "I wanna see some word." he didn't even realize what was happening. 

Later he would. Later he would realize that he actually had some control over a few things. He would also realize something way more important. Because, right there, him just dancing on his bed, he had never felt more free, no responsibility, no George, no family, no friends, nothing. It was just him and the music.

Later he was going to enjoy looking back at the moment, but that was all going to be later. Now? Now he was just going to live in the moment. 

[A/N]

I'm actually not really happy with this,,, i have the feeling i could've portrayed the feelings or something like scenery? actions? better. i also know that if im not gonna hit that stupid publish button its gonna take me two weeks before i even get the courage to do it again. Besides, all my fanfics are basically me trying to improve on my writing style etc. (and english cuz this is NOT my first language hehehehe)

 ANYyyWays, feedback is always appreciated :)