𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙚 ✫ 𝙩𝙞𝙠𝙩𝙤𝙠 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

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Y'all I gotta rant again because of what I got told

Second time I got told I cry for attention I'ma rant.

*rant*
This was a girl. A girl I thought I like very very much. She was strong and brave and very powerful and athletic and beautiful and genuine. Or so I thought she was. She knew I liked her because I got very touchy. I'm a very touchy person but she only ever saw me touchy with her so she found out quickly. Then recently I told her. She told me she liked me back and that she was pansexual. She lied to me.
She is straight and she very well doesn't like me.
When we talked she was very nice. She complicated me and made me feel better about myself. I asked her out and she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and to wait. We had known each other for three years and she had been in relationships with males just before this. She always would avoid me at soccer practice or parties or games. Wouldn't stand by me. Almost scared of physical contact from me. I slowly started doubting weather she liked me or not as it went on. But then she told her best friends that she liked me when us 4 were hanging out. She lied to her friends and me. Friday I decided I need to talk to her. I tried to call but said she couldn't. She contacted me on Instagram yesterday morning saying we can talk. I asked her why was she leading me on. She said she didn't know and that she didn't want to hurt my feelings. Then blamed it on her being lead on by 4 guys in the last 5 months. We kept talking and she said this messages. It's was fucked up and she knew it she apologized right after but the feelings I had for her were gone instantly. When I can see a point of ugliness as a person. Not based on looks but personality. One bad thing can throw it off. And she said the one thing I hated hearing most. So that's the end of that

This was a boy. A boy I thought I liked very much. He was funny and cool and genuine and attractive and like me. I could be myself around him and I'm not my normal genuine Emma around many people. I told him everything aside from that I liked him. He knew I liked him since the beginning. All my friends thought he was cute and funny and all said they would date him but he wouldn't date me. But he treated me like he liked me back. And I thought he did for a while. But then like the girl he got a girlfriend. We started to argue more and more and I always felt like he was mad at me or hated me. He would tell me his day was bad so he didn't have to call me. But that kept happening everyday so I thought he hated me. He had his friend tell me that he didn't like talking to people over the phone. I asked him why he couldn't tell me and we got into an argument I posted something calling him dumb. It was very obviously a joke, but he was really mad about it. And then he said that. It hurt because I hate attention for this I hate people who cry for attention. I accidentally posted that picture to friends only instead of to my friend. And I didn't realize it because I don't look at my own story or check it or even look at my ACC much. There were only three people on that friends only tho. Him, our friend and my best friend. He was the one who made me cry like that. He was the first boy I've ever cried over. And as soon as he said it all feelings of liking him were replaced with hate he told his friend he didn't want to be my friend anymore and his friend told me. He apologized but it felt very insincere and fake but we decided to not talk ever again. So that's the end of that.

So I'm never gonna express that I like someone ever again and that's the end of that.