Six Years | Bellarke

III. It Wasn't Easy to Be Happy for You

Clarke held her breath while the phone rang. A week after accepting the internship, she was finally unpacked in Arkadia and all set to start work the next day. Before she could, though, she wanted to take the first step in fixing her mistakes.

"Hello?" Octavia said when she picked up.

"Hi, Octavia," Clarke replied, nervously. "It's, uh, Clarke Griffin. I know it's been a long time."

"Clarke!" Octavia seemed genuinely excited. "It's been years. How are you?"

Clarke was taken aback by her enthusiasm and the fact that there was no bitterness in her voice. "I'm okay. Um... I'm actually in medical school, but I'm staying in Arkadia for the summer, so I guess it just seemed like the right time to... check in."

"You're finally back home."

"I don't know about that."

"Either way, it's nice to hear from you. I missed you."

"I missed you, too. And I called to apologize for leaving all those years ago. I shouldn't have disappeared without a goodbye."

"Clarke," Octavia said, "We were young and you were hurting. I get it. I'm impulsive and act on my emotions, so how can I blame you for doing the same? This horrible thing happened and you needed to get out. I hated it, but I understood."

"Wow, Octavia. Thank you." Clarke felt this immense load lifted off of her chest. It was comforting how, even all these years later, Octavia was still a reliable friend.

"After I finished college, I left Arkadia, too. Not under the same circumstances, but I get how suffocating it can be. I'm actually living in North Carolina now, and I'm engaged!"

"That's great! I'm so happy for you. You'll have to tell me all about the guy."

"It's actually Lincoln! Do you remember him?"

"Of course I do," Clarke replied. Octavia had started dating Lincoln during junior year, but he was four years older than her, which Bellamy absolutely hated. "That's great! I'm happy for you."

"Thanks! I guess life goes on and it all falls where it's supposed to. So, don't beat yourself up over what happened. Just enjoy your time back in town." Octavia said warmly.

"Seriously, thank you, Octavia." Clarke paused. "Um, can I ask you a question?"

"Go for it."

"Do you know how Bellamy may feel about me being back? I saw him once, and it didn't go well."

Octavia let out a long breath. "Bell took your leaving harder than the rest of us. It took him a long time to come to terms with losing you, and even longer to stop blaming himself for it. I think it'll just take him some time to get over all that anger."

"That's fair," Clarke said. "He was always there for me and then I just left him. I don't know if I deserve his forgiveness at all."

"You do," Octavia replied sternly. "Bellamy is not perfect, either. He's just hurting, but once he realizes how much better his life is with you in it, he'll be alright."

"I hope so."

"But Clarke?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize he loved you a lot, right? Like he thought you were it. He was only so hurt because he loved you so much."

Of course, Clarke knew this. She had once loved Bellamy, and Bellamy had once loved her. But there was something about hearing Octavia say it that made her want to cry.