When the Cameras Are Off | A Jaspar Fanfiction

~CHAPTER TWO~

CASPAR'S POV

I was shaking... so badly. What the hell? How did I let this happen? I'm too caught up in my own ass that I didn't help Joe - and he's ill.

I was worrying way too much, pacing around my room, my arms behind my head, practically pulling out my hair. I wanted to scream in frustration, but I simply couldn't. I'll just have to ask to talk to him, again, even if that is gonna make him feel really awkward, I'm gonna have to do it. I can't just leave him how he is. I need him to be safe.

Wow, I'm speaking about him like he's my boyfriend or something. Pshh, whatever. I'm not gay. Hell, I'm not even bi... but Joe's... he's different.

I slapped myself, ordering myself to shut he fuck up and think about his safety. I don't want him to die. I needed to speak to him before any of this gets out of hand.

"Joe?" I shouted as I left my bedroom and casaully strolled into the kitchen, where I pulled out a stool and sat down, waiting for a response.

"Coming," He yelled back, sounding like he was strugglng, "I'll be right there."

A few seconds later he walked out, not wearing a shirt, but wearing a jacket - the same jacket that he kept looking at when I was trying to talk to him about his illness last night.

He also wore black skinny jeans that looked a little too long for him, and grey socks.

I cleared my throat, doing my best to avert my eyes from his abs and concentrate on his expressions - I needed him to hear me out on this one.

"Look, we need to talk again." I croaked.

He groaned a little too loudly, and began to look uncomfortable.

"Caspar!" He began, "I don't need to go to the doctor's or anywhere else - I'm fine! If I was that dangerously ill then I woulda died already, but I haven't! I'm still here! Beside, I feel onehundred percent okay today. I guess it was just a little bug - but we don't need to talk about this again, just drop it."

"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about." I looked up at his confused looking face, "I want to talk about why your razors were left out in the sink, which by the way was full of blood? Oh, yeah, and the bloody flannel in your room? Dude, come on, what's that all about?"

His face turned to a ghostly white, and he took a step back from me. I could easily tell that he was trying to come up with a million and one excuses - why couldn't be just be honest with me? I wanted to help!

"WHAT? YOU BEAT UP MAN?!" I yelled, "IRREGULAR PERIODS, IS THAT IT, JOE?!"

I could see tears fall from his eyes- he must have misnderstood my anger.

I walked towards him, quickly, in an attempt to catch him off guard, and pulled his left arm towards me.

"NO!" He yelled, pulling it back.

My nightmares were turning into reality. I never wanted Joe to get hurt. I wanted to protect him - I shouldn't have taken my eyes away from him for five minutes.

"Joe, I'm not mad about this, I'm mad that you didn't just be honest with me. I won't tell anyone, not if you don't want me to, I just wanna sit down and talk about this."

He looked up at my, his dark eyelashes tear stained.

God, he really thought I was mad at him, huh? But I didn't think he'd cry. I wanted him to shout back at me, curse at me, even physically fight if we had to, but I didn't want to make him feel guilty about it. I was guilty - this was my fault, I should've fought with him, not against him.