I look up at the ceiling. I try to hold my tears back.
Doctor: here is your baby.
I look at the screen. I let the tears fall.
Doctor: your baby is very healthy. You are a month along. Due date is February 8.
I wipe my tears.
Doctor: did you tell your husband yet?
Ali: we weren't even trying. He's in Afghanistan he's in the army.
Doctor: oh ok. When does he come back if you don't mind.
Ali: maybe Christmas if they left him.
Doctor: well I'm sure he can come back for your little baby.
I smile.
Ali: yeah.
After the appointment I head to the car. I get in and just cry harder. Emily is my husband. He's in the army. After his dad died in the army he went in. We got married a year after. We've been married for 3 years. We're high school sweethearts. Him being away is hard but he's doing what he loves.
Ali: shit!!
I don't want to do this alone. I know that Emily's going to be kinda annoyed. It's hard for him to get free time to see me as it is. I start my car and drive home.
6:45 pm
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Mom: so honey how was your day off?
Ali: it was good.
Mom: you okay honey you seem off.
Ali: I'm fine.
Pam: have you spoken to Emily?
Ali: yeah a week ago.
Han: how's it going?
Ali: it's good. He couldn't tell me anything but he said he misses you guys.
I send them a soft smile.
Pam: have you guys talked about kids?
Ali: a little bit. I'm actually pregnant.
Mom: oh my god honey that's amazing!
Ali: no it's not.
Mom: why?
Ali: he's not here and I can't raise a kid alone! I know he's doing what he loves but I don't know anymore!
