Diamonds in the Rain

The moment when the door is finally closed, and your façade breaks when you’re finally alone. The moment when you slump to the ground in a hopeless mess of shattered self-esteem, destroyed dreams and countless scenarios of what could be and what had been.  A moment of salty tears, breathlessness, and shaking sobs.    When the mountain of emotions finally erupts leaving you broken and in pieces.  You cry for help into empty space for empty reasons.   When it falls upon deaf ears but reaches seeing eyes.  When perhaps a little appreciation, a small smile, a minuscule admiration can save you but no one willing to be your savior.  When you feel like you’re dying but the liberation is spread across painfully long minutes, weeks and months.  When you can barely stand anymore, and all you want to do is stand no more.  You want to retreat and withdraw into the darkness in complete forfeit. 

Just when everything is in an abyss, you see a sliver of truth, a minuscule drop of prospect, a single diamond in the midst of a million raindrops.  It catches your eye, blinding you in a momentarily stable moment. You know it’s easier to turn a blind eye, run away, stay forever in the obscurity, but….

You push yourself up from your recluse and with staggering steps, begin your peregrination towards the shining jewel.  You pick it with great care for fear that it’ll shatter.  Its shine is a mirror and you stare back at your own eyes and you realize.  You realize that you are the maker of the tomb that you reside in. In sepulchral tones, your shaky voice echoes in the dark storm.  In world of your own, of entirely your own.  You stand up against the pouring rain.  You slowly spread your colors with great strain.  The skies start to clear and you know that the world is for you to steer.  The sun breaks out and articulates you didactically as to why you kept it hidden so long.  Free from the demons that had chained you down and happy that you are now to wear the crown, you smile.    The only despondency of this transformation is that you seem to have lost the diamond along the way.  Forever grateful and Forever free, you fill your life by hiding diamonds in the raindrops, perhaps on its way to the hands of someone else.