Talking to Your Ghost

Chapter 2:Talk to Me

The thoughts continue to go through my head all day through classes, I constantly glance over to his old seat each time I space out during lessons. Everyone handled his death bad, but I'm still trying to grasp it, it's been almost a year since he passed and I still was hooked on it no matter how much therapy or meds I took. Maybe the dreams were side effects to the PTSD.

Soon the school day ended and I trudged to the dorms, other than shitty hair being gone so was Sparkle ass. Shitty hair was gone because of losing in battle, sparkle face was for being the cause he had turned out to be the traitor and no one suspected it. Aoyama has been placed in rehabilitation and was guarded 24/7.

As I was lost in my thoughts I didn't notice I had made it to not my floor, but Kiri's old floor and was outside of his old dorm. I slowly push the door open and step in seeing that it hadn't changed much, it was just a bit dirty. I take a deep breath and look around taking in everything as I turn on his old desk lamp and clean up a bit. As I was cleaning I stop at an old stuffed animal I had got him 2 years ago, it was a red shark with black acrylic eyes and a stitched on scar over one eye. I pick up the shark and stare at it before backing up and falling onto the stiff bed that was placed against the wall, I keep looking at the stuffed animal before laying back and curling up to it. I had started crying as I rub my thumb over the top of the sharks head,

"It still smells like him.."I let out a shaky and quiet breath as I feel myself grow tired, I didn't want to sleep because I didn't want the dreams to go back to before, he had finally looked at me and I wanted to see those eyes again.

Fighting sleep was always a battle I lost, my eyes closed and I drifted off to dreamland.

We were in the library and kirishima was studying hovered over a textbook with his face practically pressed to the page, I stared at him with a sad expression, why can't I just touch him again I want to touch his dyed hair once more, I wanted to touch his soft skin again, I wanted to tell him I was sorry.
  "If you keep staring you'll strain your eyes kat..." I shake my head and look at the red head,but this time he's looking back at me and grinning.

"Sorry I just couldn't watch you break anymore, seriously though don't strain your eyes!" Kirishima spoke and just furthered my confusion as he sighed and reached out to grab my wrist and placed my hand on his face,
"It's really me katsuki, I've been visiting you since I died, I can only come to you here..." I listen closely before jumping over the table and hugging kirishima closely sitting on his lap, even if this was just a dream and I was just manifesting I just wanted him.

"How- just how..." I ask in desperation for answers,
"Aoyama came out of no where and caught me off guard and attacked me brutally...all I saw was red until I saw you scream for me as I tried to tell you I'm there I saw my lifeless and bloody body under you, I guess aoyama ran and people tried getting you off of me to get me help,but I was already gone...I had been gone for 40 minutes before you came," I listen gripping his shirt as he pat my head and continued,
"I watch everyone and I hear and see them break, you and denki are the worst...denki stays up and rambles to shinsou and I watch shinsou hold denki while he breaks down and tries to hurt himself.... and I watch you struggle to stay up and curse and break things and rant and cry and blame yourself..." he makes me look up to him and holds my wrists,
"You couldn't have stopped it Kat, you couldn't save me, stop blaming yourself Katsuki, I know you miss me and I miss you, but I cannot come back so please just hang on for me..." his voice slowly fades out as my alarm clock starts ringing in my ear.

I shoot up and wipe my face hugging the shark and looking around the room,
"Fuck..." I mutter and notice the alarm clock was my phone and I wasn't in my room, I think about what Kirk said and wondered if I should check on kamanari more than I do. I got up and left the room still clinging onto the stuffed shark as I walked the halls trying to get to my floor. I bump into someone on the way,
"Oi! Watch where the fuck you're going-" I stop in my tracks as I recognize it's shinsou.

"Where'd you get the shark?" Is all he asks and I look down at the plush in my arms and back up at him,
"I gave it to kirishima..." I mutter and he nods,
"Hey I know it isn't my place, but" he gulped and I looked at him confused,
"Could you maybe talk to denki more? I don't understand completely what he's going through because I wasn't close to kirishima..." he scratches the back of his neck and looks away,
"Yeah I can, just tell him to stop by whenever or if you ever need me just text me..." I say and walk off to my floor and to my dorm.

I make it inside and lock the door and plop on my bed and sigh as I look at the shark again,
"I'll try...for you..." I sigh and wait for my alarm to go off signaling for me to get up and get ready for school.