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Chapter 21

  Now:
Jimin's POV:

I had fallen asleep the moment my stomach was finally filled with food, and after I finally felt clean. I dozed off the moment my head had hit the pillow, despite it still being too early to go to bed.

There was a loud banging noise outside- no pun intended-and I decided to ignore it. Probably a cheater's wife finally catching him or whatever. I didn't move from the position that I was laying in nor did I care.

It wasn't until I had heard my name and his voice. I opened my eyes slowly, still not moving an inch. The bed covers were up to my chin and I wanted to pull them over my head.

I couldn't hear clearly, but I could hear enough to know who it was. I didn't know if I should open the door or not. I wanted to, boy, did I want to see his face even after what had happened. Only a few hours had passed, and despite my anger and disappointment, I still missed him.

I planned on ignoring him, but there was another loud voice that could be heard. Another guest and him were arguing now, they were probably irritated from being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Just get in.", I didn't even notice when I had opened up the door or even gotten out of bed, but I didn't want to make any problems for the receptionist aunty, that had been so nice to me.

"Jimin.". he breathed out. I probably looked like shit, not that I could care at this point.

I opened the door wider to let him in, and then apologized to the half-naked man at the opposite hall. This was going to be a long night.

The room was dark, the curtains weren't shut but there was no light coming from outside. I switched the bed side lamp on, not wanting the room to bright, knowing that it would annoy my eyes.

"Pack up your things, we're leaving.", was the first thing he said to me. I didn't look at him as he stood next to the bed.

I was tired and I was cold from only being in underwear. They weren't even mine, there was an unopened pack in the bathroom-perks of being in a sex motel-and my clothes were either being washed or dried now-curtesy of the receptionist lady. Shit, I didn't even ask to know her name.

"What things?", I snorted. "Go away, Taehyung.", I never would have imagined saying those words to him, but it seemed that nothing went as we had planned now.

"Do you want me to apologize? Okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you like that but-"

"You left me in the middle of fucking nowhere.", I cut him off.

"You were the one that left."

"So, this is my fault now?", we weren't going to get anywhere blaming each other, but I wasn't going to be the one to apologize, then again, I was never the one to be the first one to apologize...

"No, that's not...Fuck.", he would tear at his hair whenever he was frustrated, as he was doing right now. "It's not your fault, it's mine. And I'm sorry. Jimin, I am so fucking sorry for leaving you. You were only trying to help and, and I just... things weren't supposed to be this way."

"At least we agree on something.", I didn't want to laugh, but I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh.

He sat next to me on the bed, with more space in between us than there had ever been.

"Why is this so hard?", he asked as we stared at the wall in front of us.

"Because not everything is sunshine and rainbows like we thought it would be.", and it was true. This was far from what both of us had expected to happen.

"You're not happy, aren't you?", I finally looked him in the face since he had appeared at my doorstep.

"It's not that I'm not happy, I just don't like the way that we're living.", I couldn't lie to him, not now.

"I shouldn't have asked you to come with me.", he gave me a sad smile.

"I think that even if you hadn't asked me to come with you, I would have still stubbornly followed you.", I let out a humorless laugh.

He put his hand on my cheek, and I instinctively leaned in. It's been only a couple of hours and I felt embarrassed by how much I had missed his touch.

"What are we going to do, angel?", he asked softly. "How do I make you happy, Jimin?"

I broke off from his touch, "This isn't you fault. I shouldn't have come. I'm not used to this, I don't like moving, and changing places all the time.

"I love you, okay? And I love being with you; When I'm with you, I'm the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life. But these feelings of always worrying about money, and where are we going to sleep and worrying if we are safe at night are so fucking overwhelming. And I don't like living like that.",

I didn't cry, but I could hear my hear rip from my chest as I watched the tears in Taehyung's eyes.

"Shh.", this was the first time that I was comforting him. The first time that I watched him cry.

"Okay. Then let's get a place, let's move in together."

"What?", I tried to pull away my hands, but he held them tight in his grip.

"You want to live somewhere permanently, then let's do that. I don't care where we are as long as we're together."

"You don't want that. You told me. You said that you hate living in one place. Taehyung you need this, you can't stay in one place for more than a couple of days."

He nodded, my hands still in his, "You're right, I do need to move. But I need you even more. I have never felt less alone in my life than when I am with you. Jimin, when I drove off this morning, and then when I couldn't find you, I thought that I was going to lose my fucking mind. I can't live without you.

"I never thought that I was going to need someone, but these past few months with you have proven me wrong. I don't care if we are in a motel room or a crappy one-bedroom apartment, as long as I am with you, I'll be fine."

I think that deep inside, I had always wanted to hear him say that. As selfish as it sounds, I like knowing that he is as depended on me as much as I am on him. Him needing me as much as I need him is reassuring.

"Let's sleep, okay?", my throat was dry. "And we'll talk of this some other time, okay?", I smiled trying to hide the tears that were begging to escape.

That night, as we both slept together, I think I finally understood what home meant. I used to believe that it was where my parents and brother were, and then I used to think that it was wherever Taehyung was.

Now, I know that for me to be able to find 'home', I too needed to be happy. I needed to belong somewhere and I haven't felt that these past few months. I thought that I had, but deep down, I was regretting everything, and that led us to being here.

Maybe all of this was destiny. Maybe we were supposed to go through this all of this in the beginning to finally be able to find peace one day.

As I lay in Taehyung's arms, his breathing, warm on my neck, I knew that for me to trust him, I needed to trust myself too. I finally realized that I had to be happy with myself too.

A/N: welp there's that.
-E. DIGGORY