On the last page of my story the past seemed so dull
I thought I could be loved but no, I was wrong I could never feel what was truly called love. All I ever felt what was I described as obsession.
The Present
Looking at him sleeping like a baby made me want to run away, commit suicide and let
everyone live their lives like nothing ever went wrong. I stared at him for a couple of hours before checking my watch
‘argh 1:31’ the thought of sleeping didn’t even cross my mind; I was still wide awake. I picked up my laptop and played games.
“Isabella??? What are you still doing by this time”. I just rolled my eyes ‘for the love of fuck can’t you just leave me alone?’ I thought to myself. I didn’t even see him stir WTF!!
“Isabella???? I’m talking to you”
“I know okay you don’t have to be so loud it’s the wee hours of the morning”
“then why didn’t you just answer me when I first called”
‘o boy! Here we go again!’ “sorry! I was engrossed in my game okay” I said not taking my eyes of my laptop the whole while.
“why are you playing games by this time? Why aren’t you sleeping”
“isn’t it obvious? I can’t sleep!”
“and why’s that?”
“enough with the questioning already. I’m fucking tired of all this okay? All your acts to make it look like you love me. You think I don’t know that behind my back you paint me black? ‘she’s a fucking minor for god’s sake’ ‘I’ve already broken up with her’ ‘she means nothing to me!’ ‘she’s not worth my love’.” I put down my laptop and drew closer to him, my brows furrowed. “DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR!!” I yelled.
“baby calm down it’s too early for this”
“My name is Isabella”
“I’m sorry Isabella. I just love you so much” he pleads with tears pricking his eyes
“you know what? Just stop telling me sorry Cyril, it’s what they all say when they leave at the end” I say his tears not even moving me
“Isabella I’m serious when I say I love you very much”
“well Cyril if this is your fucked up way of loving someone then I hate it. I don’t want any of this love or whatever you call it” ………... Of course I never meant it I was just hurt beyond comprehension. Tears pricked my eyes and buried my face in my palms and cried. I wanted this love even if it was this fucked up, I craved this attention even if it scarcely came, maybe I was a psychopath but I wanted this love and I didn’t want anyone else getting it apart from me, I’d do anything to make sure I was the only person who enjoyed such love, only me!
11th February 2017
“hey, wait up please” I screamed after him as I was getting out of breath fast. This was the umpteenth time I was running round the school in pursuit of him.
“catch me if you can” he laughed and ran away
Again!
I gave up the chase. I couldn’t keep up, I wasn’t ready to die yet, I was wondering how an asthmatic patient could run that fast and me that I wasn’t even asthmatic I couldn’t keep up. I branched into an empty classroom and tried catching my breath. ‘when he’s tired he’d come around’ I said to myself
“I didn’t get you”
I turned around
“speaking of the devil…... can I have my diary back?” I said while standing up to snatch it from him. Before I could even cover half of the space between us he’d sprang away “damn it” I cursed. I just went back to my initial position and started blushing.
Less than five minutes later he casually walked back into the classroom like he hadn’t read anything
“can I have my diary back now?” I said while trying so hard to hide my stupid smile
“oh this?” he raised it up “you can have it” he handed it over
“thanks” I got up to start leaving, as I was about reaching the door, he blocked my way “uhmmmmmmmmmmmm I’ve got to be going now” I said while trying to pull him away from the door
“why” he said getting dangerously close to me. I backed away not because I wanted to but because my body screamed for me to back away. When I got far away from the door, he bolted for it and locked it.
“uhhmmmmmmmm why are you locking the door?” I asked while trying to understand what my voice portrayed, fear or mischief. He started towards me
“I read it all. I’ve just got a few honest answers from you, okay?”
“okay no problem”.
