In Hate With You [mlm]

the eighth embarrassment

The boating lake in the centre of my local park is less busy today. A few children are scattered around the play area, but nobody is queuing for the boats like last week.

My watch beeps at me, signalling the end of my run, and I huff a breath of relief. The best thing about Saturday mornings is being able to get my run out of the way first thing in the morning, so I don't have to worry about being lazy for the rest of the day.

The usual burn that lingers after a seven mile run is already beginning to creep into my muscles, and instead of collapsing onto the bench next to me, I stretch out my legs with a wince. There's nothing worse than forgetting to stretch after a run, and feeling it in every inch of your body the next day.

After soothing my legs, I begin to walk around the lake, eager to get home and avoid the rain threatened by the clouds hanging overhead.

"Mr Anderson!" I spin around when I hear my name, my eyes catching on Ady as she runs up to me.

"Hi, Ady," I greet, a smile curling across my lips.

Over the last week, Ady has found her confidence in the friends she's made at school. Unlike the first day of school, she is no longer scared to chatter to anybody who will listen and addresses everybody with a wide, cheeky grin.

"What are you doing, Mr Anderson?" She asks, curiously.

"I've just finished running." I crouch down so I'm at her height - unfortunately, I don't have to crouch down far. "What about you?"

"I'm at the park with Mummy and Daddy." Something tightens around my heart.

"Where are they?" I ask her, after glancing around me.

"Daddy went to get ice cream!" She grins excitedly at the thought, and I can't help but smile back. "And Mummy is-"

"Ady! You cannot keep running off like this." A blonde-haired woman appears by Ady's shoulder, and shifts her hand through the girl's hair. Ady pulls away. "And you know not to talk to strangers."

"He's not a stray- a stranger, Mummy. He's my teacher," Ady disagrees, her eyes narrowing at her mum.

"I'm James," I say as I straighten up, offering my hand to Ady's mum.

"I don't care who you are, creep," she scowls at me, waving away my hand.

"Woah," I flinch back. "I can assure you I'm not-"

"Well, you're one of them, aren't you?" She sneers, crinkling her nose. Ady tugs at her mum's jumper, lines crinkling her forehead.

"One of who?" I frown, confused. Self-consciously, I run my fingers through my hair.

"Those gays." She spits out her words as though they taste poisonous. "I bet you're not even qualified to teach."

My eyes widen. Already, I can feel the words scratching at my skin, worming into my mind. My fingers are trembling. I shift on my feet, fiddling with the strap on my watch.

"Aren't you going to say anything back, weirdo?" She taunts me. A thought flickers through my mind, and I glance around for Ady. She's gone.

"Um, Ady-"

"I don't care what Ady thinks. She's only five, she can't judge your character." Ady's mum steps forward, her hands coming up to push at my shoulders. I stumble backwards, not wanting to feel her touch.

My breathing quickens, a lump growing in my throat. I clench my fist in the sleeves of my shirt, pulling at the soft fabric.

"And now you're going to cry? How mature." Her voice is weaselling into my ears, slinking around my mind.

I turn away from her, shutting my eyes. Maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away.

"Excuse me! I'm talking to you." Her hand grasps my arm, pulling me backwards. "You're all the same. Wimps, who can't stand up for themselves."

I put my hands over my ears, desperate to shut her out. My legs crumple, and rocks bite my knees as I fall to the tarmac.

"Don't come near my daughter again, do you hear me?" She walks around me until she is in front of me once more, pushing her lips close to my ear. "Do you hear me?!"

I shuffle away, and she is gone. But the damage is done.

Nausea grows in my stomach, crawling up my throat. My heart is beating out of my chest, my lungs sucking in frantic breaths of air. I dry-heave, pushing forward onto my hands and knees.

A cold sweat is drenching the back of my neck, sliding down my spine. I can barely sense it; my mind is numb, lost. Pain splinters across my chest, bringing me back into my body. I rub at my heart, determined to make the pain disappear.

A voice breaks through the silence hanging over my mind. I dare to look up, and see Dante, on his knees, his hands behind his back.

"I'm not going to touch you," he murmurs, slowly drifting forwards. "I won't hurt you."

"Da- Dante?" The words break as I try to flick them off my tongue, cracked from lack of oxygen. I move my tongue over my dry lips, where they've been bitten red-raw.

"You're okay," he comforts, his words soothing. Once he's close enough, I reach out a hand, pulling him into me. Goosebumps rise on my skin as the cool metal of his ring presses into my palm.

I hear his sharp intake of breath as I wrap my arms around him, but in the moment, I don't care. He's warm, and soft.

"Did you, did you hear?" I force the words out, my tongue thick. I can feel him shaking his head, and my muscles relax.

"I hardly ever agree with what she says, James, if that's what you're worried about." I startle, my muscles clenching again. "She has a thing against me, and me being gay doesn't help. I know she takes it out on everybody else."

"You're gay?" My vision begins to swim even as I ask the question, but I force my mind to focus. "I thought she was your girlfr..." I trail off as my body goes lax, my vision blurry.

"We're not together, don't worry." Amusement dances in his voice, and I manage a single tentative smile before I completely black out.

***

 I come to with a groan, light flickering across my eyes. My tongue is heavy in my mouth, and the taste of sleep clings to my lips.

"James?" Concern fills the speaker's voice, and the warmth surrounding me shuffles slightly. "Are you awake?"

I mumble a reply, my words lost in the remnants of sleep still numbing my brain.

"I need your key," the voice tries again. I force my eyes to open, and glance in the direction of the voice.

Dante's arms are wrapped around my shoulders, as he attempts to get through to me. Something flickers through my mind, and I startle myself, jumping away from him.

"Shit, sorry!" I yelp, stumbling across the carpeted floors of a hallway - my hallway, I realise - not very gracefully.

"It's okay," he soothes me. His lips twitch, but he doesn't dare laugh.

Leaving him with nothing else to do but stare awkwardly, I fumble for the keys in the pocket of my jeans, tangling my fingers in the blessed key-rings again.

A soft jangling noise fills the hallway as they slip out of my fingers and hit the floor. I curse, bending down to pick them up.

An embarrassed flush chases along my cheeks, as I turn away from Dante to slip the keys into the door. I step inside, my feet just over the threshold, when I remember Dante.

"Thank you for your help," I murmur, biting at my lip.

"You don't need to thank me. I should be thanking you for not yelling at me." A small sigh escapes him, and I frown.

"Why would I yell at you?" His eyebrows pull together.

"Because of Briana?" At my look of confusion, he explains, "Ady's mum. If she hadn't pulled a disappearing act, I would be yelling at her myself."

"Then you don't need to thank me. I know you don't agree with her, that Ady needs her mother despite her views, so I am thanking you," I insist, my words filled with a little more confidence.

He smiles, his dimples carving into his cheeks, his eyes sweet.

"How did you," I pause, my gaze trailing up Dante's face to meet his eyes. "How did you know what to do?"

He hesitates, and I hold his eyes with mine, allowing him his time.

"My brother used to get bad...attacks." He winces, and breaks away from my gaze, glancing to the end of the hallway. "We were close, and nobody else knew how to help him, so I taught myself."

I reach out, wanting to comfort him; pass a hand over his arm, thread my fingers through his hair, but I hold back. I know how it feels to be touched when you're lost in your mind.

Eventually, he drifts back, but I can see the childhood memories looming in the back of his eyes.

"Do you want to come inside? Have a cup of tea?" Regret tightens his features, and his lips twist.

"No, I've got- uh, Ady's waiting," he stumbles through his words, and before I can help myself, I'm pulling him into a hug.

"If you ever need me to babysit for her, or bring a cinema's worth of snacks and movies to your's, I'm right there," I whisper into his neck. He wraps his arms around me, almost lifting my feet off the floor.

"Thank you," he says, relief flickering across his face.

I offer him one last smile, before retreating into my apartment. He sends me a geeky wave as he walks backwards down the hallway.

I don't know how I'm going to handle living near him and knowing that he's gay too. At least when I thought he was straight, he was unavailable.