Forgotten Wolf

29 I Submit

I stare down at Chris's kneeling form in shock. He has always dominated every encounter we have ever had, but here he is, neck bared and eyes on the ground.

"Chris," I whisper as my heart races. "What are you doing!?"

"I submit," he whispers, voice laced with pain. "Please don't."

My heart breaks at the pain in his voice. My body drops in front of his. I can't breathe for the tightness in my chest.

"Chris don't," I plead, cupping his cheeks in my hands, trying to make him look at me. 

"Please don't leave me," he whispers. "I'll do anything, whatever you want, let Jude join, just name it. I can't lose you." He finally looks up at me, his eyes hold so much pain and desperation it breaks my heart.

"That's not what this is about," I whisper. My eyes are burning as tears threaten to fall at any moment.

"Then what? What will it take from me to show you how much I need you and only you." 

I shrink under his intensity. I'd rather face all of his wrath and fury then this pain I've caused him.

"Don't pull away and shut me out, please Jess, I'm begging you. Don't leave."

I can't handle it anymore, my fire has left me a crumpled, burned out shell on the floor, staring down.

His hands land gently on my cheeks, lifting my face to his. "You yelled at me in the forest that day, about how I was a hot headed, temperamental ass. Do you remember?" 

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as I hang on every word.

"You were right," his voice is soft, hazel eyes vulnerable. "I've had to fight for everything my entire life, it's all I know. You get mad because you think I make all the decisions for you. But you would make the biggest decisions of my life for me."

The pain and sorrow are back in his eyes. "You would rob me of my happiness and use the excuse that it's for my own good." He spit the last part out like it's poison.

"Chris I-"

"If you think that little of me that's one thing, but do not pretend it's for my benefit."

"That's not it at all Chris, please you have to understand-"

"I understand more than you think. It's you who doesn't understand." He tenderly caresses my cheek as he continues, "You are so busy focusing on the one reason you don't think you deserve this, that you overlook the other hundred reasons why you do."

"The Goddess has a plan for us. If you don't trust me, trust in her, please baby. I don't want anyone but you. You are perfect for me just how you are." His voice holds such sincerity that it cuts through my wavering resolve like tissue paper.

Sensing the shift, he reaches for me and pulls me to him in a gentle embrace. "Stay with me, please."

I melt into his embrace like it's my lifeline. I could never reject him, I buckled at the first mention. As his arms wrap tightly around me, the knot in my chest disappears. Never have I felt more loved and safe.

"I'm sorry I-" 

Chris cuts me off. "Shh, later baby." He just holds me curled up in his arms for what feels like forever.

"Christopher, go for a run, Dear," Grandmother cuts in. He begins to protest but she waves him off. "Cyrus needs you. She'll be here when you get back, won't you Dear." 

I nod not trusting my voice as I realize just how many sets of eyes are on us. 

"Go." She sends him off with a gentle pat on his cheek.