Sweet Surrender

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Emilia awoke to sounds of music, banging and grunting. Laying there all snug in the guest bed, she really didn’t want to move. Rolling over looking around the room, letting her eyes adjust she noticed the beautiful flowers sitting on the dresser across the room. That put a smile on her face so she stretched and figured she should get up. Besides, she wanted to know what all the pounding was.

Emilia followed the pounding down the hall and opened the door to peek her head in when she saw Shawn wearing nothing but boxer shorts and wrapped hands. ‘Oh my’, she thought as let the door open more and leaned on the door frame. Wrapping her dressing gown around her then folding her arms across her stomach, she watched the beauty of him, the sweat glistening on his toned chest and sculptured face. What a sight that was for the first thing in the morning, ‘a sweet treat’ she thought. He was so focused on that hanging bag she could actually see the form of it meld into a human figure without a face. She wondered whose face he was beating senseless. She didn’t move, didn’t make a sound, she didn’t want to disturb him in anyway. More for her pleasure than his exercise. Shawn hit one more time then turned to the window on his right next to the bag, ‘in deep thought indeed’ she thought.

Shawn turned from the window still breathing hard and saw her out of the corner of his eye. “Good morning” he said in a soft breathless tone. “Good morning. Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful” Emilia said now walking into the room and having a seat in another comfy chair. “Morning workout or are you taking out some frustration on someone?” She asked. “Frustration” He said after a few seconds of thought. He wasn’t sure if he should say anything just yet, but he didn’t want to hide anything from her. “Care to elaborate?” “I got more information and this isn’t good Emilia” He said debating on going back to the bag or not. He sat in a chair next to the one she was in and noticed her dressing gown had fallen open just enough that he could see the silk and lace spaghetti strapped gown she was wearing that sent another emotion into all together. Standing up to distract himself he walked over to the weight stand and took the wrap off his hands. “Want some help with those?” Emilia said standing, walking over to him letting her dressing gown sway open. “I got it, thanks” Shawn said but it was too late, Emilia was already unwrapping one of his hands. He looked at her as she slowly unwrapped, like she was studying every microscopic thread of the wrap. She looked up to him when that hand was free of material and just gazed into his eyes. Swallowing hard Shawn couldn’t move, not if his life depended on it. “Your beautiful Emilia” “So are you” Beverly knocked on the opened door and Shawn cleared his throat quickly “Yes Beverly, what can I do for you?” Beverly standing there with a stern look on her face said sharply “The man you requested is here to see you, I sent him to the conference room as you wanted” “Thank you Beverly” Shawn said and moved quickly out of the room. Beverly looked at Emilia “I don’t know what is going on with you two, but his heart was broken once by you, and I’m going to make sure you don’t break it again” before Emilia could respond Beverly walked out leaving Emilia to her pain that sharply stung her heart.

Emilia had gotten dressed and was out in the flower gardens walking the paths, bending down to smell the flowers once in a while or just taking in the scenery as she thought about Shawn and what Beverly had said to her earlier. ‘How could I have broken his heart when he had broken up with me?’ Emilia thought. But going over it in her mind she could now see it. Shawn could see how hung up she had been on Derek, maybe still could, but things were different now with Derek, especially after his attitude in court. Why didn’t he fight for her the way he always does with others? Why was he so aloof and calm? Why didn’t he seem to care about her the way he cares for all the rest of his clients? All this was going through her head when she heard a noise behind her. Turning around Shawn was standing right behind her, almost at her side. “How long have you been there?” Emilia asked him. “Since you bent down to smell these” holding up a cream colored rose that was tinted with pink at the edges, he handed it to her. “Thank you, these are my favorite” Emilia said smiling as she took the rose. “I know, that’s why I had them planted here. You were in thought, care to share?” “I was just thinking what Beverly had said to me this morning after you left your home gym.” “Which was….?” Shawn said as he put his arm out to carry on walking. Emilia didn’t say anything right away, but when she did, it all spilled out. “I put Derek so high up on a pedestal, it’s a wonder I ever fell in love with you at. Shawn was thinking about saying something but let her continue.  “He was so charming, caring, passionate. At least about his work. I wanted so bad to be a part of those characteristics that I spent, spend, every hour at work, or working at home just so I could be a part of it. Like if I did all that work somehow he would think of me that way too and be that way with me.” Emilia smelled the rose in her hand then continued “But, I realize Derek would never have those feelings for me, and you did. I let that all slip through my fingers, and heart, because I wanted it from a man that wouldn’t give it to me, that didn’t see me that way. Then looking at the way he was in court on my case, so cold, no fight, and I’ve seen him fight, but nothing for me.” Emilia slowed down her pace not looking at Shawn, how could she with tears nearly ready to fall from her eyes and said “But you, you did show me those feelings, and more, and all I could do was put Derek in the back of my mind. I should have put him totally out of my head and life but I didn’t. When I first moved here, I was nothing, Derek took me in so to speak and made something of me. He showed me the ropes, the tools and how to use them.” Shawn did say something now “You did all that Em, not him. You are the one that took those tools and used them, you are the one that spent all those hours being who you are now, not him.” “I know that now, then I didn’t. You see, Derek was the first man that was nice to me, and after the years went by, I took that kindness and turned it into some love thing in my head. He smiled at me when he walked past my office, in the lounge at work, even in the car park going home. Just a simple smile. Then you came into my life, it changed everything somehow, but there was Derek still in my head and somehow in my heart.” Shawn looked down at his feet as she told him her feelings for another man, a big blow to his manhood, but at the same time, somehow he needed to hear all this. Emilia continued “I felt like I was cheating on Derek somehow being with you, I know; crazy. But I did. Then when I didn’t get a response out of Derek while I was with you, I felt rejected. It hurt so bad when you broke up with me, I felt like I was rejected again so I went on a drinking binge. You breaking up with me hurt worse than Derek ever could. I met Dakota and at first it was just a drinking relationship. Then it just spiraled out of control. The words he used, the force of them.” Emilia ran her hands through her hair and down her neck. “He actually made me feel worthless.” “Em, you are anything but worthless” Shawn cut in. As if not hearing him, Emilia continued “The way Derek was, was familiar, the way I grew up. The way my father treated my mother. The way my grandmother was treated and so on. I figured that was the way I was supposed to be treated.” “Em…” Shawn tried to say when Emilia continued “There’s a curse on my family brought on by my many great grandmothers that was forced to marry the man she didn’t want or love. I figured since I couldn’t have the man I love, I was destined to be with the one that I didn’t. At first I thought Derek was the one I loved, but I was wrong.” Emilia said then quietly smelled the rose she carried but not only in her hand but her heart as well. “If Derek isn’t the man you love, may I ask who is?” Shawn said quietly, not sure he wanted to know the answer but needed to hear anyway. “Well, that I didn’t figure out until this morning when Beverly told me off .” “Well before I ask what she said, I’d like to know the answer to the question at hand.” Shawn said putting his hands in his pockets of his jeans. Emilia stopped and turned to him “You” She said completely calm and in control of her words and feelings now. “I’m in love with you Shawn and I have no idea how or what to do about it” Shawn could have fell to his knees if he wasn’t so frozen in that spot. Staring in her eyes, listening to her voice say that over and over again in his head, for once he was at a loss for words and swore that if Emilia were to touch him right at that moment he would melt.