sweet nothing [demi lovato]

eight

Layla's POV

The next few days were a blur; countless numbers of people called to express their condolences and pay their respects to my father but I remained desolate and isolated from everyone around me. Anyone that attempted to communicate with me received nothing but a cold stare in return. I hadn't spoken to anyone in days, I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten and it felt like an eternity ago since I last genuinely smiled.  I felt frozen in time, and whilst life continued for everyone else around me, I couln't seem to find the pieces to pick myself back up.

Demi had been an absolute rock to me.  She looked exhausted and drained of energy, but still she stayed strong and continued to smile, despite me being a miserable bitch.  She had done everything for me, from all of the household chores and domestic duties to unpacking all of my belongings and helping with the funeral arrangements for my father.  I felt like such a burden, and as much as she insisted that she was glad she could help, I knew that my issues were taking their toll on her.  She didn't deserve this. 

"I'm so sorry" I blurted out whilst we sat at the kitchen table one morning. Demi quickly looked up from the sheets of paper of funeral arrangements spread out in front of her, clearly shocked at my sudden vocal ability.  Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose and her eyes were bloodshot from the endless late nights she had spent holding me whilst I cried.

"What are you sorry for?" She quizzed, cocking her head to one side like a puppy.

"This" I pointed at the paper. "In fact, everything. I've been such a burden to you and I feel so guilty that you have to put up with me every single day when I do nothing but mope about the house all day feeling sorry for myself.  You've shown me nothing but love and kindess and what have you received in return? Nothing." Tears were now rolling down my cheeks as I let the emotions flood out into the room. "I can't do this to you anymore". I looked down at my lap as the tears spilled off of my cheeks and into little puddles on the table.

Demi's hands reached across the table, grabbing mine.

"Listen to me" she firmly said, squeezing my hands. "I know that you're blaming yourself right now, but you need to understand that I wouldn't have taken this all on if I thought it was going to be easy". Her eyes were locked on mine, her big brown eyes staring right into my soul. "Layla you mean so much to me. Seeing how broken you were last week made me realise that I want to be the one that's there for you when you need it.  I want to be your shoulder to cry on and I want to be the one that picks you back up when you fall down. I know that you can get through this, and I'm willing to put every ounce of my own existence into making sure that you get through this. You're not alone, because I'm here for you each and every step of the way.  You mean a hell of a lot to me - the day we first met you made me feel like I actually belonged somewhere.  I hadn't felt like that in years.  You make me smile every single day and I want to return the favour".  We held eye contact for a minute or so, giving me the opportunity to absorb everything she had just said.  Her expression was soft and her eyes glistened as she looked at me, making me feel warm inside.

"You can do this Layla, and I'll be there for you every step of the way".  The corners of her mouth curled slightly to shoot me a small smile, and I found myself smiling back.  Demi gave me so much hope, and for the first time in a while, I felt like it was actually possible to though this.  I felt like it was actually possible to get through the guilt and the blame that I had placed on myself and I felt loved and wanted; a feeling I had craved for for so long.

Demi gave my hands a final squeeze before sliding her chair back across the floor, getting up and making her way over to the office that backed onto her kitchen.  Inside, I head her shuffling around for a few minutes, obviously searching for something, before she reemerged with a big brown envelope.  She placed it down in front of me.