Now and Always( Ardi fic)

Chapter 4- When Everything Crashes Down

THE LOST PRINCE'S POV-

"Share what you have brought among you have"...

"Share what have you brought....."

"Share ....Share..Share...her"

"Share Panchali...."

"I am hers and She is mine....No, she is not mine...."

"You failed me, You broke our promise...How could you, How could you, I gave you my heart and You gave me eternal sadness, How could you..."

"I hate you....Don't come near me, I despise your existence.."

"I hate you....You shared me, You don't consider me yours"

" I HATE YOU......."

Voices were following me everywhere as I was running in the forest with no particular destination in my mind. I was running away from everything, but all was in vain as these voices were reverberating in my mind, speaking the unbearable truth...Even the trees surrounding me were accusing me of the gravest crime I have committed by standing silently while My beloved was classified as a material to be shared by my brothers...

Why was I silent when it happened, why I did not protest, Why do I always be silent when my elders are doing injustice to me. I never asked anything, I would have left everything for Panchali everything but my obedience towards my eldest and mother. What would My Fire-Born think, ...no no she is not mine now, I myself gave her away as a material. She will never forgive me even I cannot forgive myself. I am undeserving of her love, I am undeserving off even coming near to her, I could never hold her in my arms. I broke our promise, our vow. She will never trust me, she will never talk to me. That is a punishment I deserve.Our love will stay forbidden...Our love will be restricted to mere glances, to mere memories of sweet moments we shared while walking in the forest. 

My mind was wondering in many directions, but none of them gave me peace, my thoughts were haunting me, my mind was screaming betrayal, while my heart...My heart was reminding of me of our vow, "I am hers and She is mine", My body went numb as I stood silent in desperate need of comfort, comfort that I found in the eyes of My Belo....No she is not your beloved now, You lost the right to call her that when you had allowed tears to fall from her eyes, when you stayed silent where you shall not have, My brain was fighting against me. I tried to assure myself a bit by thinking about the consequences if I had spoken then the unity of Pandavas would have suffered a great jolt, but all these was in vain as the crying face of My Be...No, Princess  comes in front of my eyes, her eyes filled with sadness and betrayal from her loved one.

But, what should we do now? I cannot very well send her back that will be a disrespect to her honor. The only viable solution to this will be 4 of us Pandavas completely forgo the royal life and become a Sanyasi. Our mother though not deliberately had given each of my brothers a right on My B...No Princess, my mind automatically trying to correct me, this means she is all but married to all 5 of us. Eldest will have to marry My....No Princess, and rest of us will have to become a sanyasi. The mere thought of someone else touching her was giving me a tremendous amount of pain, A kshatriya is expected to bear the pain, Physical pains can be bared, but What about the Mental pains, The pain that will slowly suck the life out of you, The pain that will make you regret every moment you breathe on this land, No Guru, however knowledgeable he is, can  teach you this.

Even the nature was not giving the peace that he desired from the inner turmoil in his life. A life that was full of promises, adventure, enjoyment, a life worth of living, had suddenly turned upside down by just by a single statement. A single order was all it took that crushed our Euphoria of Love, I cannot even blame my mother, even though I should but the only person that I found the guilty is the one I see in the reflection of this lake.