Anne

Four.

I pulled out my journal and began to write. My words flowed together as I recounted my amazing journey as a ghost. I would never forget the feeling of flying, because it was everything I had hoped. I felt like I had just won a million dollars, though it really did tire me out.

I tapped my pen against my lip, briefly sucking on the end for a moment of thought.

My mother walked into my room, then knocked on my door. I cleared my throat, and wrote down: "Read the sign." I showed her my journal and she stared at me, angry (that I had written instead of saying), and confused. I flicked my pen at the sign on the door.

"Knock first or suffer the consequences."

My mom glanced at it, then back at me. She strode over to the door and ripped down the sign.

"Speak, child!" she yelled. "Speak! These signs are so stupid! Don't just write! Speak!" Her hand rose in the air over my face and I cringed, waiting for impact. It never came. I opened one eye, then the next, and what I saw surprised me. My mother had sunk down to her knees on the floor, her face was covered, and she was crying. Moms aren't supposed to cry, I thought.

I swung my foot out of bed, then the next, and I sank down beside her. I placed my arm awkwardly around her shoulders, and she jumped. Her watery eyes looked into mine, and she began to speak.

"I just- It's just that I love you so much, but you are so infuriating! Why can't you just speak to me? Why can't you speak to your mother? Do you hate me? We never talk, and now that your father and I have split, you've been so sullen, your panic attacks are getting worse-I-I- What am I supposed to do?" Her tear-brimmed green eyes looked into my own brown pair, and I couldn't help but begin to cry myself.

"Why won't you just let me express myself? I am who I am, and you're suffocating me! You make me do things that I can't or really don't want to do and you put pressure on me to be-to be you! I don't want to be you!"

"You won't get anywhere in life if you stay the way you are! I want to help you, can't you see that?"

"I don't need your help!" I yelled, "I'm becoming a woman now, and god damn it, mom! Just leave me be! Please!" I ran from the room, crying. I ran through the house, reaching the kitchen. I stared around wildly, and I dropped to my knees. My hands curled into fists against my temples.

A knock on the door awoke me from my unknown sleep. I stood up groggily, my eyes burning, and I opened the door to see the mail man.

He looked alarmed at my appearance, but he said, "Is there a..." he turned an envelope over, examining it, "Charlotte Brown staying here?"

"Yes, that's me!" I trilled excitedly. The man smiled, passed me a letter and walked off. I looked at the envelope and realised it was from my father.

I opened it up and read his short but sweet note. He asked me how I was, how I liked England and so on and so forth. I smiled, wishing that I could actually talk to him.

I heard footsteps behind me, and my head snapped around. My grandmother, in her white night dress stood behind me.

"Charlotte, what's that?" She pointed to the letter in my hand.

"It's a letter from my dad."

She smiled. "That's nice. Listen, I was just talking with your mother... is there anything I can do for you two?"

I thought about it, not quite sure what she meant, until she clarified, "About you 'bonding'...?"

"Oh," I said, shocked and embarrassed. "No, that's okay. It's fine. Sorry. Thank you, but no. Thanks. No thanks."