Lost

Alone

My hands trembled as I held the sharp, narrow blade to his throat.
"Where is my mother?" I growled
"What are you talking about?" His voice wavered with fear but quickly collecting himself.
"I'll say it again. Where is my mother!?" I say pushing the blade closer to his neck.
"Your mother? How would I know where she is?" He says, turning his head, trying to escape from my grip.
I tighten my grip.
He's lying. He has to be.
I look around in the dark alley. It was quiet and the streets were empty.
What am I doing? This guy is innocent and I'm threatening to kill him..!
......
What would mother say?
I shake my head furiously and try to look in his eyes. Maybe if i look in his eyes I can see the truth...
But it was to dark to see anything. So I let him go. He sprinted, glancing back a few times trying to get away from me.
I stand in the alley frozen but my legs suddenly become weak as if it suddenly couldn't hold all the pressure life was giving me. I slide down the cool wall As I feel tears forming in my eyes.
No.
I tell myself as I try holding in all my emotions. I hear a whisper and it calls to me.
You'll never find her. You can't save her. You're pathetic and hopeless. A loss cause.
I can't tell if it's all in my head but the chants progressively become louder.
You'll never find her. You can't save her. You're pathetic and hopeless. A loss cause.
No. No. No. I cover my ears trying to drown out the words that digs in my heart.
You'll never find her. You can't save her. You're pathetic and hopeless. A loss cause.
I scream. Unable to bear the voices that dig deep in my heart. Everything becomes quiet. But then I hear a faint whisper dying out.
She will die because of you.
Air escapes my body quickly and rapidly as if I'd been punched in the stomach.
Die..?
My stomach flips as I think about her death by my hands. My hands shake and I become numb throughout my body.
It's not true. It can't be. Can it?
I shake my head trying to push away the thought.
Maybe what the voice said would become true. Maybe she's not strong enough to do this on her own. Not since father died last year. When he died, she was left alone and afraid.
And now, I'm alone.