The Other Side Of Marriage

Chapter 17

Liz's POV

It was 2 pm when I woke up the following day. I was having a headache, probably because I drank too many beers the night before. I remember going to bed around 3 am, tired and a little bit drunk. I dragged myself to the bathroom to freshen up. I decided to take a cold shower because my headache was just too much. After I was done I headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. Walking past the living room I saw Erastus and Rose making out on the couch. I groaned and told them to get a room as I slip into the kitchen.

I forgot that there aren't any groceries in this place and the thought of eating cereal was just making my headache worse. There were a few slices from last night's pizza, so I threw them in the oven to warm while I took a glass of ice-cold water. I haven't drunk in a few months so the hangover was bad. To make things worse, I am usually a responsible drinker, so the last time I got drunk was in college and Erastus was the one who took care of me when I was hungover. This house didn't even have coffee, like honestly now, whose doesn't have coffee?

I took a slice of pizza and tried to eat, but it felt so dry so I just ate half of it, took my glass of water, and joined them in the living room. "Don't worry, Katie will be back any minute now with something for your hangover then we can all go grocery shopping," Rose said with so much enthusiasm. I nodded and drank more water. "How many beers did you drink last night exactly?" Erastus asked with a smirk on his face. I hate that smirk. "I don't know. How many did you guys leave when you went to bed around 2? I finished whatever was left." I said.

I held my head in my hand because it felt like it was spinning. I think my pregnancy saved me from what I am going through right now. My heart sank at thought of my pregnancy and my dead baby. The alcohol made me go to bed without thinking about all of these and now that I am up, All the thoughts are back. I did not just lose my baby, I lost a part of me and I don't think I will ever be whole again. I didn't even notice that I was crying until Rose reached for my hand. I stood up and rushed out of the house straight to the beach.

There were a few people here and there but I ignored them and ran straight into the water. I walked, going deeper and deeper into the ocean until the water was up to my waist, and that's when I started swimming. I didn't even know what to do to distract me from this feeling. The feeling of loss. I remembered the pain of losing my father when I was 16 but this pain is worse than that. I would trade anything in this world just not to feel this much pain. I resurfaced from the water gasping for air. I didn't realize how long I was underwater.

Erastus showed up in the water right next to me and started dragging me out. "What is the matter with you? What do you think you are doing Liz? You trying to take the easy way out?" he shouts angrily. I looked at him. "I wasn't trying to drown myself. I just got caught up in my thoughts without realizing that I was still under. What makes you think that?" I asked. I looked ahead just to realize that everyone on the beach was up on their feet looking in our direction and talking among themselves.

My day could not get any worse. Erastus dragged me to into the house as if I didn't want to go willingly. "I get that you are going through so much right now and I get that, but you don't do such a thing. You scared the crap out of all of us. I understand what you are going through but ......"
"Erastus? No! You don't understand what is going on. You have no idea how it feels, or how I am feeling. So don't tell me that you understand because you don't. None of you do!" I said.

Erastus looked at me and shook his head. I didn't even realize Katie was there. I wiped away my tears and continued, "I have lost everything. I do not think any of you know the feeling of total despair. I am so empty. My husband is a cheat, just two days I found him and his lover in the room that used to be our bedroom in my house. I have decided to end our marriage but there was still a part of me that thought my marriage could be saved because I love him and seeing that crushed me. To make things worse, I lost my unborn child. The only good thing that came out of my marriage, is also gone now. I know you are trying to understand, but none of you are in my shoes right now to know how it feels. So you don't get to shout at me for trying to forget all my problems. And guess what, I do feel like dying, but I would never do something as dumb as take my own life. I thought you knew me better than that. " I argued. I looked at Erastus through my tearful eyes before heading to my room and locked the door. I sat there leaning on my door and wept.