When Autumn Leaves [SungJoy]

-twenty-

"I hope I can be the Autumn Leaf, who looked at the sky and lived. And when it was time to leave, gracefully it knew life was a gift."
-Dondinsky

Sooyoung's POV

When I wasn't sick yet I wondered if I'm a person of great things. But things didn't turn out the way I used to think.

I was an achiever, I had good grades, good friends and  my future is already set, I got a letter from Harvard telling me I can go there for College, it was like a dream to me.

It was Autumn last year when I realized, I keep forgetting details. I forgot it was my birthday and I forgot my flight to abroad.

My parents doesn't want me to go anywhere but I feel suffocated staying at our home, I feel I will be depressed if I stayed inside my room. I wondered what I should do. I even changed my phone number because people kept on texting me, probably going to ask why I didn't go abroad for my studies.

But  when realized how important my life is, I didn't dwell on such things because what's the purpose of going when I'm going to forget everything?

I just want to be free and be myself for as long as I can still remember. I don't want to be depressed over my disease.

I want to be remembered as a happy person even though I know I will forget to smile eventually.

But it's not me who will remember my laughter but other people. I want to think I've done well despite of my disease, that I fought it with all my might.

I accepted my fate.

Not until I met him. On that faithful day last Autumn, I saw this guy walking on the fallen leaves by the roadside with such seriousness. I always see him at the convenient store and finds out he works there and even more surprised when he works at my uncle's restaurant.

I thought that moment, I want him to smile, I want to make this person smile.

But loving him isn't in my plan but I was drawn to him, his seriousness in life, his love for his sister and his obvious hate to me, can't really blame him when I can't even imagine myself talking to other guys. Later on I realized, I only don't want to make him smile, I want to save him after all.

I'm the sponsor of his sister, just her room actually and I passed tutoring Naeun to him so he would stop working as a traffic enforcer at a construction site, I only did this little things maybe to help him go easy on himself. It's not about being a kind person but I just want to save him because I can't save myself. I just think that when I forget everything, there's one person who will think of me.

I'm ready to let myself go. I don't even know where it will take me. Loving him set me out from my misery, that, I can do anything now.

"Park Sooyoung."

I turned to the voice. There he is, standing on the doorway holding his breathe, probably from running.

I smiled. This man, this great man loved me once in my life and that's more than enough.

"Yook Sungjae..." I called his name still smiling. There's no need to cry over this things.

I saw his eyes moisten, making me smile wider.

Someone is shedding tears for me, and it's a man who loves me.

"Park Sooyoung.." His voice cracked. It made me chuckle but it gave me lump inside my throat.

"Yook Sungjae..." Maybe in our next life we'll meet again, maybe next time I can love him without holding back.

He walked towards me and pulled me in his embrace, I can feel his hot tears on my hospital gown, his body shaking from crying.

I smiled. Running my hand on his hair and back to make him stop crying.

"sshh... It's okay. It's okay."He continued to cry despite my carress.

I'm not that bad after all. Someone is afraid to lose me in this life.

"Yook Sungjae... Thank you for coming."

Thank you for loving me.