Irondad: Bad Things Happen Bingo

Spider-Man Lesson Number One (Doesn't Realize They've Been Injured)

"Oh my gooooooooooood this is so boring! Friday nights are usually crazy with crime, how is it so dead out here?" Peter said to himself.

"Crime levels fluctuate, Peter," Karen said into his ear, startling him so hard he almost fell off the side of the building he was sitting on. "Though I did get a report of a disturbance a few streets away. My guess is law enforcement will not arrive for about ten minutes, plenty of time to help out and leave before you get caught."

"Finally, good lord," Peter said, shooting a web and swinging his way towards the street Karen indicated. "I mean it's a Friday, where's all the raging drunk college kids doing stupid stuff?"

"Perhaps they have all gone to sleep, Peter. It is rather late."

"Pfft, it's nine o'clock, the day's just getting started for them," Peter said with a snort. Peter landed with a flip on a building by his destination. "Karen, where exactly did you say--"

A scream cut him off and Peter whirled to look down in a dimly lit alleyway.

"Shit, Karen, night vision please?"

"Of course, Peter."

Peter could suddenly see a man cornering what looked to be a woman and her son. The man lunged at them and the woman punched him hard, and Peter could hear the snap of one of her fingers from even up on the roof. Peter quickly lept down as the woman howled in pain.

"Woah! Hey hey buddy what're you doing!?" Peter shouted as the man recovered from her punch. He pointed a sharp pocket knife at Peter and snarled, "Give me all your money you little brat!" Peter rolled his eyes.

"Why is it always the same with you guys? Can none of you get that I've beat up supervillains? What in the hell makes you think you'll last longer than the Vulture?" Peter scoffed. The man faltered but didn't back down, still pointing the blade directly at Peter's face.

"Goddamit--I need this money!" The man growled.

"You don't need anything enough to kill someone over it man," Peter said. "Now are you gonna leave so we don't have to do the 'you struggle while I win' thing, or is that the route you prefer? Remember, this action will have consequences."

Heh, Ned would appreciate the Life is Strange reference, Peter thought absentmindedly. Hey actually I'm not sure how far he got on that game, I gotta ask him about that tomorr--

Peter's thoughts were interrupted by the man suddenly swinging the blade far too close to Peter's chest.

"Woah!" Peter said, doing his best to dodge the man's swings but stay in front of the woman and her son behind him. "Not cool man!" Peter stopped the mugger's fist on the fourth swing, squeezing his arm hard until he shouted and dropped the knife. Peter threw him against the wall and webbed him there muttering angrily to himself.

"Stupid fucking ADHD. Of course I forget my meds on a Friday, the day I should be the most focused! Dammit! C'mon Spider-Man, way to be an idiot," Peter said as he scribbled a note and stuck it to the webbing over the man's chest.

He turned to face the woman who was still holding her hand with a grimace while her son wailed next to her.

"Oh jeez, yeah that's definitely broken, here lemme help with that," Peter said as he saw a deep bruise blossoming over her dark skin. He shot a bit of webbing into his hand and gently wrapped it around her fingers. "That's gonna dissolve in an hour so you'll wanna get that checked out as soon as possible, um, I know someone who can help out if you need the bills paid for that--"

"It's fine, I'm actually a nurse," the woman said with a strained chuckle. She glanced up at Peter, but her expression suddenly changed to a look of horror. "Oh god, Spiderman--"