AMBROSIA

EROS THANATOS

"EROS THANATOS, concurrent or mutually opposing action, was brought together by Freud in his book Civilization and Its Discontents,'' Professor Mallory was high in energy unlike the class he was addressing.

He had forgotten what they had started previously in their last class, and somehow went several lessons ahead, his forgetfulness in such trivial aspects was no rare occurrence. Professor Mallory could easily be in his late-seventies if his bald and mottled scalp with few dying silver was any indication. Years of teaching Clinical Psychology had burdened him, making him a bit hunched and with a constant expression of frustration and fatigue.

Not today. Today Freud's theory seemed to have put him in high spirits temporarily retiring his frown lines.

A scattered group of twenty fresh master students yawned in random successions, which was completely oblivious to Professor Mallory. Psyche soon fell into the trap when Tristan, who would make sheep's eye at her every few seconds, sitting one desk beside her absent-mindedly gave a cavernous yawn.

The lack of sleep was catching up with her, but Psyche was sure it was more because of Professor Mallory's soporific teaching style, who somehow managed to transform Clinical Psychology into a boring history lesson.

"Throughout your career, you will encounter many such cases, patterns of compulsive behaviour, aggression and most importantly self-destruction, this drive is Thanatos, as Freud labelled it, the inclination of a person towards death," his wizened face wore an unwonted expression as if he was on a mission today.

He paused collecting his thoughts, his thin lips pursued in a tight line, highlighting his unusually thick silver-white moustache. He continued in this thin breathy voice, "Eros, on the other hand, is the desire to live, to love, to prosper, a tendency towards survival, life-producing drive."

"If a person professes his death instinct outward, it's in the form of aggression, which is a comparatively easier case to deal with. But sometimes these instincts towards destruction can be directed inwards, which can result in self-harm or suicidal tendencies, the kind of cases you would wish to not encounter," his voice dramatically shuddered.

He paused again, this time longer and when he began to speak, the class collectively groaned.

"To override the death instinct or Thanatos, you need to trigger the life instinct, Eros, by touch, love, affection, prosocial actions, making them feel seen, heard. Freud had concluded that people hold an unconscious desire to die but that the life instincts largely temper this wish, and today we will see how," Professor walked slowly towards the green board stretched on almost whole of the front wall and began to write something.

Psyche forgave herself for tuning out the unrelieved lecture just like most of her classmates, her mind was paralyzed after the day of mind-numbing classes and capriciously it took her back to the meadow she saw in the morning.

Was it really there or was it all a figment of her overzealous imagination?

She had to revisit the place tomorrow to ascertain the reality of the locale which was so heavenly and divine that Psyche had difficulty accepting whether it was anything but a dream.

And then there were the butterflies.

Immediately after reaching home, Psyche had googled the behaviour of monarchs which she thought she witnessed in the field, and she came to know that the monarchs migrated every year close to winter from North America to Mexico for surviving the weather extremes.

But it felt different to her like there was more to what she saw, something she can't recall, something important she was missing. Everything felt like a distant dream, slipping out from her memory, bit by bit, making her doubt the verity of it.