"different state of mind" -
the world
gives you
so much pain
and here you are
making gold of it
~there's nothing purer than that
outer banks
(fem oc x jj maybank)
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Harlyn felt almost as if she had to stay the night with john b at the chateau after the events of the day prior, however, he insisted he would be completely able to spend the night alone in the isolated fish shack he called home. By the time she got to her own house, she could barely even keep her eyes open before she even hit her bed, considering she never had a day that was that hectic and busy until yesterday.
A few times throughout the night she found herself falling in and out of sleep due to the stress of the discovery of john bs fathers compass. She was always an overly curious person, so she naturally stayed up everytime she woke up thinking about all the possibilities of what all of this could mean.
Around four o'clock in the morning was the time her eyes were no longer heavy and there was no longer any hope that she would be able to slip back into her sleep, so, and only because she a had a gigantic blank canvas full of possibilities, she pulled out her paints and brushes and switched on her bedside table lamp and let her brushes give her mind a rest, swiping the paint over the wall next to the bathroom door full of designs that sat in her heart heavily.
They were not her usual intricate and detailed pieces that she usually littered over the walls of her bedroom back in california. They were more so strokes of color combinations that matched her energy and emotions ever since she got back to kildare; confused, yet at peace. Colors of light blue and yellow filled the wall, but also vibrant reds and dull grays, a combo she usually wouldn't go for, but once it all came together, it felt completely right. The colors were bent into the waves of the ocean they sat on, highlighting the parts of it wih the yellow and contrasting the shadows with the gray. It almost symbolized what her return felt like, still beautiful but in its own new and unique way.
She stayed up the rest of the night watching netflix shows and reading a few books benji had recommended before their cross country trip, but it wasn't until ten that she decided to get out of bed and start her day. She threw on black Nike shorts and a white crop top, along with a pink bucket hat and some high top converse before heading out the door and to her car.
It wasn't until she was three minutes from her house that she decided where her destination would actually be. At first she just wanted to drive to see what she could find, but there were also some things she wanted to discuss with jj about big john's death before she saw john b again, so she drove to his small house in the depths of the cut. Hoping not to awaken his father, who she was always a nervous wreck around since he looked so mean and intimidating, she went around the side of his house to where she remembered his bedroom window was.
As kids they never really stayed at jjs house, it wasn't as warm and welcoming as john bs or harlyns, but they did sneak him out at night every once in a while when his father wouldn't let him spend the night.
She tapped on his window which was creaked open to let the cool air of the night in, and it only took a few moments for him to emerge from the darkness of the room to the light of her phone flashlight. His torso was bare and he wore a pair of boxers and socks, his nighttime attire remaining the same even seven years later.
