The Most Beautiful Moment in Life

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Requested by ikilli

warning: panic attacks

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Damn huh, feeling of separation from the reality

Conflict with ideals, my head hurts

It was when I was about 18 that my social phobia developed

Yeah it was about then that my mind became polluted more and more

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Yoongi knew it was useless. He had tried to get therapy for his social anxiety, but it would always come back to haunt him.

They were preparing for a concert. Stylists were running around, getting makeup ready and clothes out. Yoongi was getting his face done. He looked calm on the outside, but inside, he was freaking out. The others couldn't tell at all. They were happily chatting along. Yoongi felt a little jealous when he saw them. He wished he could be as carefree as them.

There were so many things that could go wrong. He was scared that he would forget the lyrics...

He wasn't a great dancer either. He could mess up the choreography. Ruin the hard work of all the others.

The fans probably didn't like him as much as the others. They probably thought he was weird and too aggressive with his rapping. Maybe he was strange and awkward. He never knew what to do with his arms. What was he going to do...? What if he screwed something up?

"Yoongi, I just want to say... that shirt looks awful on you," Jimin said. He was obviously joking because there was a big smile on his face.

"I... okay, thanks, I guess."

He smiled gently at Jimin too. Yoongi tried his best to hide his shaking hands. It was embarrassing for him. The older brother who was scared of people. What a joke. Jimin didn't see anything wrong.

"I was just kidding hyung," he said, starting to giggle. He moved away to go annoy somebody else. Yoongi sighed in relief.

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"I can't do it."

Hoseok frowned. "Yeah you can Yoongi hyung. You did a great job preparing for this concert."

Yoongi shook his head. The anxiety was growing, making him shake more and more. He was going to screw something up. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. He was going to mess up. No. Yoongi tried to take a few deep breaths.

"Yoongi hyung, everything is going to be okay. Don't worry," Hoseok said. It wasn't like the dancer was paying attention to him seriously; he was looking at his phone and saying stupid things to try and make Yoongi feel "better."

He got up and locked himself in the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror. Jimin was right. He did look awful in this shirt. Yoongi felt his heart break. He didn't look good in anything. Why did he have to be such a failure?

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The time that I want to erase, yeah, it was on a day of some performance that I can't even remember

I faced myself who got afraid of people and hid in the washroom

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Yoongi, you can do it. You can do it. The others can! You can too!

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