Things That Are Red

Chapter Five, Red

I wake up with dry eyes and a dry mouth. I can hardly make sense of what’s around me. I was never used to waking up so early, and having an ear-splitting alarm to wake me up only makes me crankier. I haggardly roll out of bed and hit the floor, landing on my face. Taking notice of the clothes, food, books, and junk all over my room, I clean it up as fast as I can, but I know that it will change back tonight. It’s just that Matthew is a neat freak.

In all honesty, the last thing I would like to do is go to school, just to be ridiculed and mocked all over again. I don’t mind the scorn, but I get annoyed when the people doing so are all self-absorbed, complacent bigots who don’t know any better. To me, it’s like Hitler and World War II. It never turns out well for big-headed bureaucrats.

But there is only one thing—one person besides my mother, that is my motivation to be out of bed. It's Eva, but she had first confronted me at the exact moment I wanted to be alone. I thought her seeing me would be the same as it always was when I met someone new, until it wasn’t.

“You’re here.”

I don’t see Matthew, but I know he’s on the couch in the back of the bakery. That’s where he always waited for people to come. I’m always telling him that opening it so early in the morning is pointless, but Matthew always just shrugs.

“Did you think I’d take off?”

“I thought you’d try it, hate it, then take off.”

“I’m not that feeble.” Now this is partly a lie, because I had certainly considered doing exactly that just a week ago.

“Oh? Though I’m sure it’ll leave just as quickly as it came, where has this sudden confidence come from?” Matthew is obviously excited to hear my response.

I laugh as I grab my jacket to leave. Before I step out of the door, I say, “It’s not confidence, it’s ignorance.”

I step out and shut the door, leaving Matthew more surprised than I bet he himself thought he’d be. But when I take a few steps forward, I bump into someone clearly taller than me. Looking up at the person, I freeze into place.

I knew it! I knew I’d see him again, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. “What is going on here? Why do I have to see you again?”

Carmine seems to be just as annoyed and disgusted as I am. I never expected to run into him in front of my house. He says, “I wanted to stop by and say hello to Matthew, but I didn’t know you lived here, too.”

That’s right. He doesn’t know about my situation. Why should he? “Whatever,” I say, “I’m leaving.” But Carmine follows me. “Don’t you have any classes?”

“I have afternoon classes. Leave me alone, I just feel like following you to your new cage.”

“I’m not an animal.”

“That’s true, but you’ve constantly showed signs of being less and less human ever since we first met.”

I hate to say this, and he’s kind of right, but something is bothering me. “But what defines ‘being human’? Is it love and hate? Fear and cowardice? An individual will? Or is it stupidity?” I might have turned him off a bit. But I don’t care. He sighs heavily and walks faster.

“As always, you have interrogate me. Can’t someone just put sew a zipper on your lips?” he says.

“But I’m not wrong, am I?”

“You have a point. But who am I to say that you’re wrong? No one but God can deem that.”

“Another point. Hey, do you want to race me to my school?” I ask Carmine this, not because I want to race him, but because I am suddenly anxious to see Eva.