Try Me (Justin Bieber)

2:I'm a mess

*Melania's POV*

I went back home yesterday to find the lights out and no one home, again. It's nothing new though and I was in no mood to talk to anyone either. 

After Taylor and I cleaned up the ware house, I finally saw Amanda and I was crying again, Taylor cried too. I haven't cried in years and my best friend is gone and here I am, lying in bed at 6:00 am, still bawling my eyes out.

I had to get up in 15 minutes, but maybe I wouldn't actually get dressed.. hmm.

So I got up and brushed my hair and my teeth and threw on some sweatpants, yes that's right. I'm in a bad state of mind right now cause I know I'm gonna regret this as soon as I walk into that school. I threw on a black tank top and a zip-up, incredibly soft, gray hoodie and some fake uggs.

I looked in the mirror before I left, no make-up today. My eyes were all puffy and red, my vibrant green eyes suddenly seemed so dull, like all the life had been sucked out of me, my brown hair looked like a mess and my face looked as though it were drained of color even though I was tan. I sighed and walked out to my car, I didn't put any music on today, it was a nice silence until I pulled up to the school.

I ignored everyone today. I walked through the doors with my head down, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Why was I so affected by Amanda dying? I thought to myself, I've seen plenty of people die, so why am I so affected by this? 

My train of thought stopped when I heard a voice calling me, a very annoying, all to familiar voice. "Hey, Mel!" I heard it say, I kept walking pretending I didn't hear it. 

I hated when people called me Mel, no one was ever allowed to call me Mel, only Taylor and Amanda. They were the closest things I had to a family and now ones gone. 

"Oh, Mel stop ignoring me, you know you wanna talk to me." The voice was getting closer and my anger was boiling inside me. 

"Melania! Turn around and look at me!" it screeched, yanking my arm. So I gave her just what she wanted, with a little present to go along with it. I smirked I turned around, "What would you like Brittany." I said with the best smile I could muster together, "Well, I just wanted to tell you to stay away from Justin, understand." she said it quietly with a smile so no one would hear her, but I heard it loud and clear, I wasn't about to take her shit. I put my bag down and I could tell she got a little nervous cause she took a step back.

"Oh, so you're demanding me to stay away from 'your' Justin?" I cracked my knuckles, "That's interesting, you think you can push me around, well sweetie, do it again and say it louder. I dare you." an evil smirk played at my lips, knowing she wouldn't. "No." she said. That's what I thought. But I was just getting started, "No come on, you think you rule the school, so go on, be the queen bee that everyone thinks you are." 

She seemed to tense, "You know what Melania, I'm gonna kick your ass!" she screamed and now everyone was looking at us. I could tell she regretted the words that just slipped her mouth but she stood her ground, shaking a bit. 

"Try me." I said through gritted teeth, "Go ahead, throw the first punch." I bet it looked like I was fuming, because I was definitely about to explode. She balled her fist and tried coming in contact with my face but i grabbed her tiny little hand in my hand, that wasn't much bigger then hers, but I was a lot stronger. So I grabbed her fist and punched her in the face, causing a bloody nose. 

"Would you like to have another go at it, Brittany?" my voice was dripping with sarcasm as she slightly shook her head holding her nose, "good, well I suggest you stay out of my way. And by the way," I got very close to her ear, "never call me Mel again." I turned around and walked away, with everyone whispering.

After second period someone was calling my name again, this time it wasn't Brittany, it was Justin and I turned around and he was smiling walking over to me. God what does he want. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to say something, but he was just staring at my face. 

"What do you want, Bieber?" That seemed to snap him out of it, "Oh, um remember yesterday how you said you'd go get coffee with me? Well I was wondering where you lived so I could come pick you up." He seemed kind of nervous, I couldn't help the little giggle that came from my mouth. "Is the Justin Bieber nervous?" he smiled, "Me? Nervous? No." 

"Yeah ok," I needed to ask this question before anything else. 

"Why do you want to have coffee with me? Have you literally fucked all the girls in the school that I'm the last one you haven't done it with?" he stared at me shocked. What does he expect? "Because if that's what you're thinking, I'm not having sex with you." I stared at him, he wasn't saying anything so I turned to walk away but he grabbed my wrist and turned me around, "No, that's not the reason just, please?" he gave me those stupid puppy dog eyes. I inwardly groaned.

I hate puppy dog faces, damnit! 

I sighed, "Fine." A genuine smile played at his lips.

After I gave him my address he said he'd pick me up at seven'ish and I walked off to third period. 

The day went by fairly slow and I was off tonight because Taylor was planning Amanda's funeral. So I went home and to my basement, basically my workout room. 

I started hitting my punching bag, all these thoughts came into my mind the harder I hit it, thoughts of Amanda, thoughts of myself. Thoughts of who I wanted to be, not what I am now. I had tears in my eyes but I kept punching, the harder I punched the better I felt. 

Why was it her and not you? Punch.

Why is your life like this, you made it this way, you're nothing! Punch. Punch.

I felt the blood on the punching bag and my knuckles were already bruising. You deserve to feel the pain! Punch harder! 

So that's what I did, I punched and punched, letting my anger out on the bag and myself. 

My tears were staining my cheeks, I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs, sobbing hysterically. I fell to the floor and curled up into a ball. It felt like hours before I had stopped crying. I mustered all the energy I had left and pushed myself up from my knuckles and that made me scream. 

I've had much worse then this though, I've been stabbed, shot. You name it. But it was never enough to kill me, I don't know why though.

I made my way up the basement stairs and was about to head up to my room to sleep until the doorbell rang, oh you've got to be kidding me, I sighed and went to the door, only to remember Justin was picking me up at seven and that that was probably him. I took a deep breath and opened the door, he looked amazing, "Hey Justin," my voice was small. He was smiling but then had a look of concern. "Melania, what the hell happened to your hands?"

I looked down remembering that they were all bruised and bloody. "Nothing, I um was just doing something." Before he could say anything I pulled him into the house, "Ok so I need to go get ready, sorry I'm not ready I was just doing um, homework and lost track of time, so I'll be really quick." I basically ran up the stairs and into my bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see a glob of shit staring back at me, my eyes were glassy and red and puffy and my hands looked like they were just mutilated. I washed my hands even though it kind of stung.

I ran to my room and put on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, I put on mascara and it was time to go. 

I ran downstairs and Justin was standing there in a sweatshirt and jeans too, I didn't really have a chance to look before. 

"Ready?" he asked, 

"Ready." and we walked to his car, off to the coffee shop but before we were there he asked something that put me on edge,

"Why have you been crying so much lately Melania?"

No ones ever seen me cry besides Taylor, how could Justin know I've been crying? Do I really look that bad? 

I didn't answer though, because this is the first time someones actually seen my emotions and asked me about them and I was about to cry again.

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This was a long chapter, hope you liked it.

I'll update soon!